Christmas Time is Here

Hope your Holidays
Are Merry and Fun
And that if you have time off
You enjoy yourself

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!

Para su Amor

I don't even know what it is anymore
Is it an obsession
A lust, a want,
True Love?

I don't even know anymore
I know there are people in the world I love
My family
My friends

There are different types of love
Family love
True Blue Friendship
Love for a man that you never knew you could

I know I love all my family
I love Sarah and Kristina and Emma
I love people who are closer to me then my own family
In times of darkness

But I don't know if I've ever loved a man
So much as I loved that boy
But was it all fake
A desire that was crushed so easily?

Am I in love?
Or am I in love with the wrong man?
I hope I'm not so desperate to go with another
When I've waited so long

Just to hear you say those eight letters in my ear

Moment of Perfect Clarity

Have you ever had a moment
That one perfect moment
where it was suddenly so clear
What you were meant to do with your life?

But then as you thought about it
You grew weary
Or afraid
Or unsure of it was really the right thing

How many people would you disappoint if you did it
How many would you hurt
How many would wish you went to college before that
How many could be saved if you did though?

So many times
Running through this situation in my minds eye
Someday is sometimes not as good as now
Now I'm asking if you know what to do

Maybe you need to write a book, or direct a movie,
Or talk to someone who you've never met
Or write a song.
Maybe it will change, influence someone's life.

But maybe 'now' means when the circumstances fall in place
Miraculously like falling from heaven itself
And that really means now
So its actually in the perfect time

So someday I may be a 'rock star'

Memories of Yesteryear

Have you ever had that one moment
That perfect moment
That you could never describe
Never redo again?

That moment while seemingly lost
Is stuck forever in your mind
Playing over and over
Like a broken record

And the details start to get less clear
But the over all message is still there
And it seems like a distant thought
An old dream

Maybe you don't even remember it for a few days
Or weeks
Or months
Or years even

But Its Still There, Waiting to Be Remembered

Here, There, and Everywhere

Sometimes I wonder what I'm looking for
So deep down
So far away
Just not there

I wonder what the purpose is
There's no point
Give up
Give up

But looking harder
Deeper
Farther
Brought me some of the best things in my life

Types of love that I never knew were there
Coexistence with those I'd never known
The realization of who's not your friend
And who's your best.

Looking Around Gets You Nowhere

Where We're Suppose to Go

I'm sorry
I guess I just didn't think
That in my anger it would be put
Entirely on you

Who am I to judge and be judged?
To be falsely angered against
To put truth on a stick
Waving it around as a two faced banner

But as the song goes
Right now I'm so
Frustrated, Irritated, Disconnected
From it all

I guess that someone just pushed me
Off the fringe of the deep end
And I looked at the world
Through red tinted glasses

But I always knew that I was wrong
And there was no reason to be angry at you
Except that you rarely seem to say
Anything to me

But its not your fault
I understand
But it seems that you only give me half truths
Or don't tell me the whole thing

And I tried to write this in a letter
But the words didn't come
So this is the next best thing I suppose
Since I almost broke down

My minds running this way and that to get you back

Save Yourself From Weakness

If I was a superhero
I think I'd be fueled my hate, or at least anger
Running through my blood
Because that's when I can't stop to think what I'm doing wrong

But I'd be a villain
And every villain wanted to be a superhero
But their strongest asset was their strongest weakness
But thats not true for me

Who are you to tell me what I should do?
You're only human
I'm not invincible
And you're not unbreakable

I'm tired
Eating noodles
Drinking a juice box
Don't you think superheroes feel and hunger and thirst the same?

But this anger is getting out of control
My blood begins to boil
The one who caused it doesn't even know
That they're the start stop of it


I hope you know this is about you and true for most all

Lies Dance in Masquerade

Picture Link

Covered in lies
We hang our heads in shame
To think what they've done to our souls
To have them burn in flames

One leaves a mark darker than another
Harder to wash from our minds
They eat our minds, our hearts
Our souls

Who is to blame for such things!
No one will admit anything
But it is our own undoing
We are the criminals

We cover others with lies, deceit,
Pain
Just to have it put onto our own heads
An eye for an eye, tooth for tooth

But how do you handle the lies and deceit?
Let it hit you hard, Let it eat your soul
Or do you laugh in its face
And give it no satisfaction?

I know what I'd like to do

Notes and Candy Roses

Remember last year

When were having so much fun
I always go back to that night
Because I think I ruined it all

We had something good going
And I think if I waited another year
It would have been amazing
And it would have worked

Because those words from
Friday were stuck in my head
Sunday they were going to be replaced
By words that I would come to respect you with

And if nothing else
I respect you so much more
But my heart still aches
Because I don't think it understands

I pray every night that I did the right thing
Opened your eyes
To see more then what you thought
Because maybe what you thought was the truth

Maybe it was suppose to work out that it starts this way.

Love Lights Up the World

Check out the lights
How they sway side by side
In tune with each other
To light up the night

Check out the moon
How it glows through this space
Shining upon the faces of you and me
As we will get to our homes soon

And as you say goodnight
I wonder how night
Can even want to become
Sunny and warm

And maybe the best things
Are actually seen in the dark
Not the light
Because you need your heart

So I'll continue to travel
Down this tunnel
Covered with lights
Dancing in time with the moon

I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Stuck Together like Bricks and Glue

Friends
They are strong bricks
Holding each other together
Though one may break in places

But then there's me
I feel as if I'm the one stopping them
Sitting on top of the brick wall
Leaving only my presence there as I leave

Does the wall crumble as if from age
After I leave?
Does my absence somehow leave
Them actually needing me?

All in all
Not just another brick in the wall
All in all
Not just another brick in the wall

Not I, for I was always just a brick
Though sometimes I seemed alone
Sitting there, amoungst others
Though we all thought we were alone

But there was one other
Who's absence would leave
Me needing, falling, breaking apart
Nothing the other bricks do would hold me in place

My Cornerstone, My All in All

The Naked Trees Show Beauty

Oh lonely one!
Look at where you are
Your loveliness covered by their fake beauty
Something others care not to see

It breaks my heart
That you do not even know what you are
Something that means so much to someone else
Or maybe even to me

My hearts longs to be one with you
Though we may not have ever met
But I have committed to keep myself
Until we become that one

I await for the day that I will be covered in white
And that we are actually one
But until that perfect moment
I will strive with my everything to keep it pure

Because I wish to be only yours forever

Going Through the Subway of Life

My oh my
Why would you want to say goodbye?
The old school song is blowing my mind
I swear this isn't a lie

Is the song holding me
Or is it only a part of something bigger?
Am I trapped inside more than just a catchy beat
And lame lyrics?

Trapped inside this world today
I know what it is and what it serves
The false knowledge, the hurt
The lies

Sex, drugs, the needs to fit in
Be Cool. Everyone needs to have someone to love
To touch and hold
And most of all call there own

LOAD OF CRAP
I have something better
I have a brain that's on a straight path
I'm no longer a wayward son

I believe that sex is God's gift in marriage
I believe I will always be an outcast in the world
I believe that God has the perfect man picked for me
And I should not rush love before it's time

So what do you know?
Are you really free
Or is it another lie that you've been feed
I know I'm free in the richest blood and grace


So Answer It: Are You Really Free?

Drop the Act; Not the Passion

Where did the passion go?
So maybe after a while the jokes aren't funny
There's nothing to smile about
Everyone begins to appear the same

Lovers lost their passion
Friends? Now enemies
That life we once knew?
Gone

I admit I thought it had died
It hasn't been there for a while
Nothing entered into me
Giving me a will to do more

But maybe something had
It was stirring deep inside
And the passion was too strong
To allow nothing to stay in power

So now here I come
Burning my flame
I want everything I do to be filled
With a passion

I want to love a man with a passion that will never die
I want to play my guitar like I'll lose my arm tomorrow
I want to earn after Him with a passion like no other
Something that will no die, burn out, or fade

Don't Drop the Passion; It needs to be in Everything I Do

Side by Side

When I look at my life now
And what it was
I realize two things:
I haven't changed

But that's on the outside
Something on the inside has
So many emotions
That have been gotten, forgotten, and yet earned for more

So what should happen now?
Love in so many forms
Hate burns my throat
But they are both still there

So cover me when I smile
And hide me when I'm sad
If you talk to me when I'm angry
I'll make you cry

If you think it doesn't matter
It does, it does, it does
However, I've let you know to much already
So now I say ciao.

Don't fight; It comes naturally

Create; Destroy

My life is folded up
Crumbled in notes on the floor
I wrote so many
Crumbled on the floor expressing my everything

I wrote one about how much this feeling overwhelms me
I have never thought of someone so much before
And I want to hold you in my arms
Though you'd more easily enfold me

But I don't know what to do
I don' know how to say this to you
But I know I need to talk to you soon
So maybe I'll just give you a rose, or a note, or words

Then I wrote to another
About how my life has changed in the past few months
And I don't know what else to say to you
Then the next two things

Another love is here
And I have never felt so much hurt and pain
In my soul then now
Even though it was only twice

So there's an issue of trust
Priority, and being on time
It think that's about all
Yeah.

And so that's all that I have time for
I believe it is now time to go
For I am a poet and songwriter; not an essay writer
Where's my guitar so I can write this down?

Notes are as Good as the Paper They're On

Sour Turns Sweet

Oh you think you're so sweet
With your sugar coated needs
That deceptive smile
Would fool even the most cunning crocodile

But I took a bite of that which you gave me
And I found it turned my stomache
I wanted to let it all out
But I just swallowed

And that's how I took it for a while
Never growing accustomed to the taste
Bite small, Swallow down,
Fake Smile

Then one day I broke it
Because it was not something easy for me
And you listened and smiled and told me
"I know"

I looked blankly at your face
And you took my hand
And told me it was a test
And I almost didn't past

But you would never let that happen anyway

Throw Away Your Sick Ideas

It's not like I can let this go

It's only what I've known in my entirety

So if you want to strip that away

Just try

I won't stop you

Because there's so much about you

That I want to know

And I have to bury this armor

So I can finally allow that to happen
Otherwise I'd be running in circles
Running in Circles
Running in Circles

That wouldn't be fun
But don't throw the blame on me
I'm just another piece in this game
And are you a rook? Or the enemy knight?

Your move first, then mine

Rescue Me from this Road

I'm sorry you had to hurt me so bad
That I can no longer trust you
Because it hurts me that I can't
And that what might be taken as truth

Is actually a lie
What were you hoping to achieve?
If you told me the truth from the start
I wouldn't be in this situation

Of confusion and hurt and distrust
Like broken headlights
And needing them at midnight
On the darkest night in the world

That's how I feel
And I need to gain this back
Because I don't like how things are going
Between you and them

Maybe you understand what I'm saying
And maybe you don't
But I just want you to tell me you understand
and what you're going to do about it

Because this is breaking me in two
Just standing here watching you
And it makes me sick inside
Like no one could ever believe

And if you understand this talk to me; don't post a comment unless you never see me

Empty Voids Fill Empty Space

I'm looking down at the world

At first I thought I was flying

But I realized that something was missing
I knew what it was but I couldn't place it
Oh, my body is gone.

Looking down at this world
I was so free from all the troubles and sorrow of below
Then I came back down
And you walked right through me

No! I cried out to you to notice me
I asked everyone around me
Turning in circles
But they all failed to notice the person who flew

I went up and looked back down at the world
And knew there was nothing that could be done
But while I was there I could have done something
To be something to anyone

So for the second time I came back down
And I kissed your cheek
Remember me, please?
Goodbye

Then I woke from the dream

Crushes are Messy Business

I wish everyone could just tell the person they love
"I love you"


Because then I wouldn't be in this mess

Dance in Front of the Jukebox Baby

Records spinning, spinning,spinning

Records spinning, skipping, spinning

Records skipping, spinning, skipping

Records skipping, skipping, skipping

Records spin in their old fashioned way

Like they did years ago

Let's dance like they did years ago

Let's go Back to the Past like Michael Fox

'Cause you know I only want to dance with you

In front of the record player

Let's swing, swing, swing

And turn the clock back tonight

So Why Don't We?

Tell me baby
I got lost when I couldn't catch your stare
And my heart feels shattered like a broken record

Maybe I'll just scratch the record
For a new vibe
And grab a new partner In this song called Life
After I couldn't find your stare

Because Maybe we'll Dance Better with someone New

Won't Stop Turning

I feel so small at the top of the world touching clouds
Where I can forget my problems and doubts
It's hard to tell but
Is anyone else on this ride with me?

This is one ride I can't get off
Until it brakes down
And I feel like I could do anything at the top
But synthetic when I'm touching ground

Scream to make it stop; It won't
Threaten to jump off; It's too high
Sit down because that's the only other option
But I'll tell you what I can do

I'll close my eyes
Stretch out my arms, hands up
Nothing can hurt me now
I'm at the top of the world

I will scream at the top of my lungs
And I will sing at the top of my lungs
My love for you
And whisper in my ear that you love me too

And I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll wish I wasn't sitting
By you but you make the ride make sense
And then you'll sit there when someone else comes on with me
But I won't forget you protecting me

My life can't be compared to a Ferris wheel, can it be?

The Irony in Fairy Tales

Have you ever realized
In stories the hero is (A) stereotypical?
And the female in distress is locked in a tower
On a very nasty stormy day?

Well my story isn't like that at all.

I fight the dragons with the help of people in my life
And everything happens on an ironic sunny day
And I'm the one locking myself in a tower
Because its real life, not a fairy book story.


So take that Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.

Take a Risk, Take a Stand

I Prefer to stay Ageless
Because I'll stay safer this way
Because then no one will say I'm too young
To write like this or too old to post pictures

I prefer to stay Gender-less
Because I'll stay safer this way
No one will say that I'm too Masculine
To write poetry or too Feminine to be bold

I prefer to stay Race-less
Because I'll stay safer this way
No one will laugh at my skin Or my eyes
But I'll bleed the same red

I prefer to stay faceless
Because I'll stay safer this way
No one will point me out in a crowd
Just to laugh and stare and say hurtful things

I Prefer to stay Anonymous
Because I'll stay safe this way
No one will know my name
Because then no one can hurt me


But if I put all these things out there
Maybe it will show I can go against the grain
And everything will start to get better
Little by little even if it hurts

Hi, my name is

I'll Love You for All Time

How could anyone possibly love someone so much?
It's a new feeling to me
And to think if my heart is breaking when I'm not seeing you
What will happen when we are apart for good?

But though I love you so right now
I need to know you better
Or this love is worthless like faith without deeds
Don't break my heart this way

So how will this relationship come to be?
Should I ask you? Though I wish you'd ask me
Or maybe if we talk it will happen
And it won't seem as awkward

But know this: Even if it cuts my heart and soul in two
I can't afford to give myself to you
Because that's not what I want to sell
I want you to love me for who and what I am

I want to save myself for the right man
And will not give myself away and throw it in the trash
Because the guy I want is more important to me then that
And I want him to know that

Most of all I want God to strengthen me
And you to push my faith to limits so it grows
And if we love each other through good and bad
We'll grow so much together hand in hand

And if we break apart before bells are heard
Don't be upset; Instead rejoice
Because I wasn't the right one and you weren't the right guy
But we grew and we did nothing wrong

I hope that never happens all the same
But if it does take this poem anyways
And when you find another love, give it to her
Because she's special and waiting for you

I really don't know why I wrote you this poem
I could have said it so much shorter or cooler in a song
Even if you don't like poem's this is dedicated to you, my future
So don't be mad my love, for I love you, I do

I love you
No more secrecy, messages, or poems
Just I love you and I'd do
Almost anything for you



Please Wait For Me

Here and Gone

The Understanding of Beauty comes
Much Too Late for some
And is Always understood by Others

Can you Understand This?

Can you only See My Shoes?

Look at me when I'm standing
Don't kick me when I'm down
If you want to help just listen
Even if I only can cry

Because everyone ends up being so down

At least once in their live

That they need to know someone

Even one person is there for them

I wouldn't be able to survive on my own

Without one other person

And that's what keeps me going

Knowing that I'd let at least one person down if I stop

So Don't Stop Breathing In

When everything is being thrown against you

And you're running the other way

Getting knocked down

Because I'm There Running Beside You

Listen Up; Don't Shout

Maybe we've all been talking too much
Too long
And we haven't been listening
To one another

Because Miscommunication is a deadly disease
That even the best of us catch
Politicians and Actors; Models and Musicians
Just look at the paper today to understand what I'm saying

Just Listen Once in a While
And You'll Understand things in a Clearer Light
And it Will Make Sense When it didn't before
Because you stopped talking long enough to hear what was suppose to happen

And Now I'll Listen to You

Dance Under the Ocean Sky

The clouds will move like Ocean Waves
On that day, on that day
As I run to the top of my hill
Nothing holding me back

And I'll look up at that ocean of sky
On that day, on that day
Wondering about so many things
And how they all make me stronger; new

And maybe you'll be with me
On that day, on that day
Holding my hand or laughing with me
Or just giving me some tacky gift

But I would still love it if you were there
On that day, on that day
Because I wouldn't have to do it alone
Lose everything I've reached

Because though I've told them parts of my life
Before that day, before that day
They never really know me the whole me
The alone, worthless, scared, dead me

But I'd be willing to give everything up
On this day, on this day
For you if it made you happier
Because that's who I've figured out that I've become

Especially on a day with such life as today

The Conscience of the Unconscious Mind

This is but a thought left in my past

Just as you are

And maybe if the times permitted

It would be different

But here I go to tell you what I think

Once again:

Everything is pushed into the back of our minds

Lying dormant until something arouses the thought

The memories becomes real again

The things or words that person said

When you see them again for the first time

In three, five, twenty years stepping out of that car

So what are you thinking then?

'I should say something

Because we were such good friends

And those terms are certainly not void now'

But you only smile when they look at you

And they do like wise with a thrown in 'hey'

But you are too excited that they remember you

And are still alive

Because they didn't die

From suicide, murder, disease

Or move away

Even if they have a shift in personality

Just get to know them again

It will all be fine

Maybe. Hopefully.

It's like learning all over

Shake my hand, I'll shake yours

Everything is in

I Failed to See the Point...

Sometimes I get caught in the Moment
Of here and now, then and there
Dancing with Funny Colored Balloons
And Singing and Laughing and Not Caring

But sometimes its good
To remember the times we had
With friends
Before they go to waste

And then when we get frustrated with them
We can look back
And see all the good things and times
We had with that person

Cause I don't want to slow down
or go another way
And I'll stay in the Moment as long as I can
Before they come after me

Let's play tag and hide-and-go-seek

...That we All Tried to Make

No one every knows
What's on the other side of the door
How could they?
They've never been there before

Some have caught a glimpse
Of the other room
But they had to decide
What most more important

To stay or to go
My loved ones would cry
If I chose the other room
Or would they wonder why I wanted to be with them

Some say there are golden butterflies
And other see darkness
Worse then anything they see at night
But I don't know

I've never seen the other room
Or experienced the effect of the swing
The door has on other people around me
Though I'm sure there were times so close but I was unaware

Heaven and Hell are so close but sometimes I don't even know

Love Makes Me Blind

As I look into your eyes
I realize that the sun beams are too bright
They sting my eyes
And they begin to water for more then one reason

So much more happens then you think
When you walked back into my life
I didn't see this happening
Not in a million years

The emotions can not handle...
I'm tripping over...
How can we...
Can I just blow my brains out now?

Cuz the scissors are always sharpest
When you least expect it
The emotions can not handle this overflow
When we trip over words
How can we survive through this?

Cuz the scissors are always sharpest when you cut your tongue

Clean Up the Sidewalk

My life has been splattered against the sidewalk
A multitude of a million colors
Showing my emotions
My thoughts
Everything I've felt and said

The persona I made was not something
I could easily escape from
Because everyone hides behind a mask
For the comfort of saying and doing
Acceptable things

If I already did those things
I wouldn't need a mask to hide behind
If I meant it from the bottom
of my frail, bloody, coldest heart

Maybe others would catch on too
So we could see in colors
Not just black and white
Because as beautiful as those tones are
They get so plain

Give me a crayon so I can color the world

Leave Me In My Castle

I'm going to run away from here
It wasn't meant to be
I'm not suppose to be your Cinderella or Snow White
Dancing away the night waiting
Especially for "true love's first kiss"
But at least I know I have a beautiful dress

With that dress I'm going to be who I want
I'm going to wear my hair down
And my smash awesome Converse
To you it will look odd
But to me, I'm me

I'm everything I could ever dream of
Everything that I could change
But change kills the strong soul inside
When it's not ready for it
When its stabbed in the back with a double blade

So I think I'm fine now
And you should be too
Lets take this roller coaster slow the first time
Back on
Because we'll be safer

Can I have my skate shoe back please?

Words Dancing on My Tongue, Heart, Soul

So look at me strange
I'll just laugh as I walk away
I don't care what you think
Of my hair, my style, my faith
I'll always be this way

Yeah, my clothes and style may change
They always do at a point
But inside, what counts, remains unchanged
And thats all that matters now

It should really be me laughing at you
For having nothing better to do then laugh
Because you must have more faith then me
For believing in nothing

I believe in something so awesome, so great
That words can hardly start to explain
And I can show you by how I am and how I try to act
Just watch and start to see

Can you try to understand to see and believe?

Make Sure You Wear Your Smile Tonight

Why don't you smile more?
It's the part of you I love most
It's why I wanted to know you, see you, love you
Why I wanted to be your friend

But now it's gone and so are you
Did I push you away somehow?
But everything is starting to fade
Leaving me to fall into shades
of white then complete black

But somehow I know this isn't over
Though I know time doesn't heal
all or even most wounds
But it does heal a few
And that's a start

So I can see you smile again
For me, and those you love,
and most important, yourself
and the One who made you

And I'll take a picture
because it will last longer
forever
with a happy smile

Only the smile

Polka Dots Don't Polka, They Waltz

Stand there like you're
So Cool
In your stripped socks
Wearing your scene shirts

Put on your top hat before you step out
You don't want your awesome image
To catch a cold
To look like everyone expects

Sorry that I caught a cold
And that I'm not like you
But I don't care
Why should you so much?

Why can't we be friends?