Saturday, December 31, 2011

Details of the Past

Another year

Are you going to hold onto it?
Are you going to remember
Every Little Detail
That made it your best

Or worst.
It broke you
You are covered in bruises.
The black and blue pressed into your skin

"This was the year"
But it wasn't.
The promotion never came.
And you never reached your dream

So what will next year be?
Will you focus on the past
Hinder your next chance
To even breath.

Ah, me too.
I've been there.
I still may be
right. there. too.

But. I've been blessed.
I look to my friends.
I look to my family.
All around me so, so happy.

(And I may grumble
And may act spoiled.
But I know that I have something good.
In this moment .)

So I'll drink to their health
And remember them all.
And hope that this next year 
I remain so lucky.

Auld Lang Syne

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Story of the Stars

i can see
that you're glowing
i can see
your lips quiver

so say what you need
so say what you have
to do
to do

  i will listen to you
because it needs to escape
i will listen to you
speak, whisper, yell, scream

then you will
into a million multicoloured stars
from the inside out

because your story has been told.
but it isn't over,
and that
is my favourite part

your soul is a beautiful living thing that needs to be known

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Me and You, Me and Me

what will it take
to make you see me?
what will it take
to make you notice me?

is it my curly hair,
my lack of make-up,
my chosen clothes,
that make you look past me?

don't you understand?
don't you realize?
do you just not care
when i hold my breathe when i pass by

but i'm no here to change for anybody
i'm not here to please myself
i'm not waiting for you to catch me
five years too late

one word
one look
one time
one once

this is what i want, just once

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Leave My Mind For Just One Moment

The spotted memories
Dance gracefully, frantically, in my mind

The one were our eyes met,
The one were you held my fingers
with your own

That time we talked about past days
And sad moments
I told someone, you, for the first time
 I heard the pain of regret in your soft voice

The words I wanted to say
As I watched you everyday that week
Filled by mind, body, mouth
In silence

But it was your words that made me
Look again for something
The missing part of me
That fills all of me to the last atom.

I am so curious
I want to know how your faith is so strong
And makes me want to heal, grow, get stronger

I still want to know you better
I still want to know you
I still want to know
I still want...

Can't you leave my mind for just one minute?
I need to think things through
Like how my shyness became me
And that's the end of me and...

Why Can't I Just Forget About You?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The First Time I Saw the Lights in Your Eyes

 I'll do it right the first time
Because I'm not ready to live like everyone else
I'll do it right the first time
Because that's what I want

"But the heartbreak, experience,
the knowing you're actually in..."
But can't you see?
This is me. I know me.

Maybe this is meant to be like this
As much as I hate it
And don't want it
And may want to trade it in a second.

But my heart is aching as it tells me
how romantic it will be
to finally say to him one day
"I waited my whole life just for you"

Only you.
Always you.
I'll know. I'll know.
You're the one I dream about having.

We'll do it right the first time.
And even if you end up being my second
And I'm your fourth
We'll get through.

Because He keeps us in His circle of time.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Drop Like Wallflowers to the Ground

I keep myself busy
So I forget who I am
Because I don't need to be reminded
That I'm alone

Being by myself
Is less tiresome
Then being with the crowd
And standing there


And wanting to cry
Because you can't
To any of them no matter what you think

Even at home you are the same
Because no one 
watches, talks, waits, looks
At you

Are we just more independent?
Or we just good at faking
The loneliness we feel
Onto fake smiles and well wishes?

But know what?
It only matters when it gets to you
And you, out of everyone,
Believe it to be true.

Can I  listen to you?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Relationship Identity Crisis

I suppose it wasn't enough
Though I thought it was
It's never enough
It will never be

What is the meaning to the word
That I thought that we were
Is it a pun? I guess
I just don't understand

It is always about you
And I shouldn't mind because I'm happy to have you
But were do I go
For an ear and shoulder?

I just don't want to push my luck
Because I don't know
How far a push
will go

Before we snap.
But I won't say
That it hurts me deepest
Because I don't know you anymore

And we could be the same
And I miss the us before
Who are we now?
What are we?

Who am I?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hey World; It's Time to Take Me On

I always hate driving you home
Because I never know
How it's going to be later
Between you and me

We could spend weeks not talking
Or texting 
Or emailing
And I hate that part the most

I like it when we're closest
Like we use to be
And I think finally
I've got it in my mind

It's okay to talk about the past
And what happened
And maybe open that up
Because it's a part of you and me and us

But more than that...

I think I've learned that I need
To let it go
And talk about it casually
once in a while

Whenever you're ready we will
I won't make it into a big deal
Because it's not
And I love you, my friend.

Who you were: I loved
Who you are: I love
Who you will be: I will love
That is what He's taught me lately

Wherever we go from here
Just know that's how it will forever be
No matter how much seems to come between us
In the good and bad and parted ways

this is what i've learned

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Ivity In Creativity

Always seems
To be wiped
Clean out of me

Though the days get longer
There is always more to do
And I forget, yes, to stop
And look around me

Look Around!
It's all around
Even when you can't see it
Even when you can't feel it

It's in plain sight
Now its in the shadows
And all you need to do
Is open up and see

And embrace it to yourself!
It wants you
The pictures, the words, the melody, the art
It's always been in your head, your heart

So Do Your Thing; Live Your Art!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Hands Holding Hearts

The hand I once held
Belonged to someone I knew
I knew better
Than I knew everyone else

It was the hand we dropped
When things got rough
The only one
That would always have picked me up

It was that hand I reached for
Wanting to know its touch again
Wanting to remember
Every line, every pulse in that hand

The hand I got was not the one I wanted
So cold, dead, undeserving
Of a fate 
I do not understand

A hand held mine
Squeezing and assuring everything was fine
I need time
To find who I should have been all along

But where was the life in that hand?

I will grasp the fingers between my own
And wait for the warmth 
and the pulse 
and the colour
To return to every cell.

It will be your hand I hold
When we dance again
Under the stars
Like those nights long and far ago

Our hands raised above our heads

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Year of the Creature Inside Us All

Curled up inside my mind
They scratch away.
The dark, the dark
They love the dark

It keeps them warm
Living in more than a fool's paradise
They pace the halls
Of men, great and small

Haunting the hallow walls
And staircases of the heart.
You hear their footsteps
And their breathing tightens something in your throat.

Eyes shut to block these things out
Or keep them locked out of the world
That is hardly any safer.

The phantasm floats about
Down city streets
Not just in your mind
And the minds of the good

It's time to take a flashlight
And a bat
to these ghosts and monsters
That are within us all

It's Time to Deal With Yourself and Your Past