Goodbye Hello

Are you ready
for this coming year
and for everything
that it will hold?

Are you ready
for heartbreak
for love
for second chances?

Are you ready
for new beginnings
and failures
and choices?

Are you ready
to hold onto the old and new
and forget the new and old
when it doesn't suit you best?

Are you ready
to become who you were meant to be
not compromising anything
to be that?

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

Crying Daisy

Sometimes I just want to ask you
Straight out with no strings attached
If you'd rather me
Just walk out of your life

I want to know if you'd think
It would be easier for the both of us
To forget each other
When that's hardly the case.

If my name was just a whisper in the wind
And your name was just a name
Would it be easier
To get on with life not thinking of those things?

After loving and hurting
and crying and singing and lying
and silently admitting our deepest fears
to each other

Where do you get off
Just cutting it off
Without consent
from me?

It hurts too much to think about friends sometimes

101 is You.

So what am I suppose to say?
If I can't speak honestly to you.
What am I suppose to do?
If I can't be close to you.

"Babe, the truth hurts so just accept it."
"Hun, we all got to face the music."
Baby I wouldn't be here if I wanted lies.
Hunny I live to dance to the music.

Maybe I'll just stand here
Waiting
With my arms stretched wide open
So you know you are always welcomed

Into my home, into my heart
Just tell me the truth
Clearly, honestly, real
Because then maybe we can both feel less tense

Because I don't like knowing that this is all I can do for you.

[post 101]

100 equals me

Just a little bit of color.
Just a touch of grey.
Is this the half full or
the half empty glass next to me?

But where do I fit into this?
Am I adding to the colour
or fading back in the grey?
Where do I stand?

Vibrant.
Radiant.
Can you see her
dancing through the airwaves of the pages?

Dull.
Plain.
A hand waves
above the crowd, but you don't see him?

What's the cost
of your soul
When you aren't colourful
When you aren't plain.

Stand up. Stand out.
Splash some color on life.
Get comfortable.
So you don't invade into personal lives.

A balance on stilts
A balance of scales.
A balance in life and death.
A balance in hues.

Let's paint the city with lights.

[Post 100]

Flying in Jar

I never wanted to trap you
To make you feel that way
When the only thing I wanted for you to do
Was spread your wings as wide as you could

I never wanted you to fall
But I'd catch you any way.
That's all I ever did
I always tried to be there

But now your wings don't seem so golden,
they seem to shrivel against the sun
And I don't understand how this could happen
When you were made to resist them.

I thought we'd fly together
But your golden wings are made of wax
I want to save you
But you won't let me catch you

How am I suppose to help you
When you slap my hand away
You said forever, until we were grey
But that must have been a thought from yesterday

I'm still grieving
Not for those beautiful golden wings
But for the person who had them
This chapter never was finished

Can you close it or try to write some more?

Lo Que Será

Che sera, sera
Whatever will be, shall be
But only if I can have you
And you can have me

I can't understand why
people think that they are fine with this
Is it when living is fine
All high and mighty?

But then out of nowhere...
BAM
Someone close to your heart dies
Well che sera, sera to you

Wait, what? Did I hurt your feelings?
Or do you get what I'm saying?
It's either all the time or never
that yo live with this notion

No regrets, che sera, sera
That's how I live
I don't question what happens, or why,
Or what will happen

Still, it's good to be alive

Flat on the Back

Are you willing to cry?
Are you willing to die?
Do you truly believe
that it will make this right?

If you don't believe
Why are you still standing here
By my side telling me
I'm doing right?

Because I don't need that.
I don't need you
telling me something you don't believe.
Yet, I can see it clearly for myself

Maybe I'll fall flat on my back
And wonder why no one was there
To catch me
When I thought someone would be

But at least it will make me strong
I'll stand and walk
Knowing I'm talking my walk
Unlike you.

Because hypocrisy leads you no where

Love (The Lost Language) ♥

{A song I wrote for my friend
Who is getting married
September 13 ♥}

I've been caught off guard
Something about your eyes keeps me here
My heart feels a little strange
Could this be love,
Making me feel this way?
You're asking me for the first dance tonight

Stuck in this moment with you;
(Where) time doesn't exist

Love like the song that can't be written
The song that can't be sung
It echoes a lost language
Aching just beneath the skin

Always thought I knew
What love was until we dance that night
Here we are a few months later
Stronger then ever
Holding on together
You're asking me to be yours forever

Broke the wall around your heart
Here we go on this merry-go-round

Chorus

This ends the height of fear
The final test
Running circles
Running circles
Running circles in my head
Today we become one

Chorus

© Me // October 6/08

The Question

Static, static
Stay as you are
Don't make a move
Because you are static

Don't bring me change
Don't bring about a chase
I'm sitting here
For I am static

The dynamics are not dynamic
Not until I say
And why not sit here a little longer
And drink some more tea?

For I am J. Alfred Prufrock
And this is my love song
As I stay here
And escape the haunting question

But may I turn
twist, tumble, g l i d e
Away to the castle turrets
And I'll watch as life shoots arrows of fire

And then I must make a choice:
Change your course of action
Or stay the same and suffer
Missing out on everything

The dynamics are spinning dynamically
But it's taken a lot to set outside my door
And prove that I don't have to live boringly
So here I go

Will you answer your life question now?

You Want to Know?

See, the thing is,
That you can take me out
From my comfort zone
But I'll still be me

Oh no, I won't argue
Against the fact that I'll change
I know I'll change
But I'll still be me

I won't conform to your ways
Or your ideas
On the way life should be
Or anything like the kind

So put me in a fairy tale story
Put me in a historic book
Put me in a graphic novel
Put me in your memoir

I won't conform to your feelings when I'm just me

Natural Contrast

There you see me
But really you don't
Because it's me living within my own lines:
Silhouette

You can't judge me on
Exterior appearance or
Interior motives:
Silhouette

Can I keep my anonymity?
When I'm interviewed by you?
Because it protects my insides:
Silhouette

When I'm shooting the bullet
When I'm flying against the moon
When I'm dancing to my music:
Silhouette

When I'm famous
When I'm gone
Will the sun still shine behind me:
Silhouette

Backlit, Silhouette, Beautiful, Silhouette

Where is your heart now?

Where is your soul?
When did you stop believing?
Did you see your grace and style
Fly out from beneath your feet?

Have you trapped yourself?
Have you caged everything
- good and bad -
To stop yourself from feeling?

I recall this is the feeling
of being an animal encased
and entrapped and snared
Am I that pitiful that you look away?

So when will your luck change?
When will you figure it out?
That I'm not the enemy -
That I'm only trying to figure you out?

¿Dónde está corazón ahora?

Sip That Soup

I feel as though my heart should burst
Any second now
Any second now
I swear it will

Something everyone wants
Everyone craves
Everyone needs
No exceptions

But what are you willing to give
to take, to do
In order to get it, to have it,
to keep it

Sit on the sidelines waiting for her to ask you?
Run up to him and tell him your feelings?
Hope that you won't mess up and in time
Everything will come naturally?

Yeah, me too.
My heart could burst
The next time I see you
Despite what I tell it not to do

Love is such as alphabet soup
What letter will you get
What can you see
Will you find those letters

'M-E' ?

Wash Away the Dreams

The Rain is the Rhythm by Fermented

I've been left here
Stuck in mud
dirty, unwanted, cold,
unloved

Is this how I'm suppose
to decide what to do?
With this rain in my eyes
and my dreams poring down on me?

Will someone grab my hand
Because I don't want to do this
alone anymore.
Like I've done my whole life

Pull me up
Pick me up
I don't want to be stuck
I don't want to be stuck

Alone anymore
Can you make it stop raining
Can you pull my heart from the mud
Can you try to do it for us both?

Help me out from this muddy bottom-less puddle.

Joy & Sorrow

how can i tell you
just how much you really
actually truly do
mean to me?

my frustration is apparent
and lack of showing emotion
really sets things off
wouldn't you agree?

but all that aside
i will tell you
right here and now
how i really feel about you

being with you makes me:
feel whole, smile, cry with joy,
realize that i have a purpose
far greater then i can understand

so why do we have to make this so hard
to get through when it should be
you and me
me and you

i wonder if i disillusioned myself
right from the beginning
thinking that it was really going to be
simple, easy

maybe i don't understand everything
and maybe you want to keep it that way
but i'm fine with that
if it makes you happy

because that's what i want for you
above everything else
even if, its hard to say,
that doesn't include me

i just want to see you and see you happy

Ready For This?

"I was born ready"
she says, head raised high
fist by her side
"I love a good challenge"

"I will overcome,
I will rise against,
I will go alone if I must.
I will not be defeated"

"I will rise to the occasion that is life"

Hold onto Hope

One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own

Going Down

http://jayxxbe.deviantart.com/

Mayday, mayday
my hearts going in for a crash landing
it was never guaranteed a soft spot to land
from the first moment

our eyes made contact.
So do you promise now?
Cuz I won't fake it
Ever. I stay true

to myself.
I can stay true to you too.
So hold me close
and tell me you'll never let me

leave your arms.
Cuz really all i am is lonely
looking for a best friend
who will never leave me

i just wish that would be you.

Indulge in Thanks

This will not mean much to anyone
but myself
but more importantly self
don't let yourself not do what you need to

i am looking forward to next year
Which will start this April for me
When i'm nineteen years young
And for the first time free

i'm going to do those things i've been dreaming of
get my hair cut so it gives me a little something new
go on a road trip, see my best friend
and enjoy my life

next year more of my evenings will be free
i'm going to start working out
jogging and maybe eating more
but i still will be picky

i'm excited for this new lease
truly i am
really i have so much already
and i can thank God for all this and more

This is the first year i've been this happy since i was a little kid

Calendar Days

i guess i'm still waiting
but maybe the real problem is that
i'm doing it so impatiently
that it's becoming a problem

time to slow down
time to figure this out
time to let myself be free
and let it be

i'll be sitting here listening to the rocket summer

Save Myself

I don't want to fall back
Into that place again
Those feelings again
That life again

Because its so much more depressing
And it keeps me constantly stressing
And I found that if I keep pressing
On, I can make it out

But falling back in would destroy me
So whenever I start to feel that way
I tell myself to stop
And look at how I've been since I left it

And I feel so much lighter; so much better now

Clash of the Titans

I cannot feel inspired right now
Because my soul is breaking apart
Looking for its other half
And my brain is fine by itself

They won't work together
When they want such different things
And my heart agrees with both these
Because its fine alone but secretly wants to be loved

So here I stand
By myself as all these couples around me walk
Hand in hand
And I can't help but feel so alone

And with Valentine's Day looming
I am becoming quite gloomy
And hope that if someone asks me
I won't jump on the bandwagon without thinking about it first

i don't see this being resolved anytime soon.

Inordinately Ruined

I am ready to step away from the ordinary
To leave the old unneeded things behind
Because they will drag me down
And leave me in London's mud

I will defy gravity
And find myself in the comfort of your wings
I am ready to look straight into the sun
And burn in its atmosphere

I have never felt more ready then tonight
And I will sing it loud & clear
Use me as you will, as you can
Because you saved me from six feet under where I am now

I am ready to be ruined to the ordinary

New Year New Beginnings

"The hardest part about growing up
is letting go of what you're used to
& moving on with something you're not"
You use to tell me

I never knew how easy it was to say that
But so hard it would be
When the time came
To actually do that

But I think I understand it now
And maybe I should have heard it
And understood it long ago
Because it would have made things a lot easier

I'll start today or tomorrow if I have to