Reaching the Clouds

Isn't it funny
How we push away things
That bug us or annoy us,
that we can't be bothered with

Its like we want to be free
Living in the fast lane
Swinging with no attachments
Swinging life away

But that is impossible
Unless your mind happens
to live on a tropic island
and you rock back and forth in a corner
muttering to yourself

No complications
No hardships
No rude awakenings
No rules

Well thanks for the notion
That we could get by like that
But I doubt that we'd survive long
And I think I'll wait until heaven for that

Because without all of that
I'd be a wimpy person
With the mind of a four year old
Who doesn't want to learn, who wants never to grow up

But then how could we find things?
Friends would be disposable, not close like brothers
Everything would be a play thing that wouldn't matter if its broken
And then, what is love?

So I'll keep the chains on my swing, thanks all the same.

The Aid in Afraid

Patricia has inspired me

I am afraid.

I am afraid of failing, either myself or others or God because it will show I am weak
I am afraid of not learning because I am afraid to fail
I am slowly learning how to fail and learn from it
I am afraid that my trying my hardest won't be my best
I am afraid that that I know what I should do but won't because of others

I am afraid of love.
I am afraid of not being loved
I am afraid that I will fall in love with the wrong person and realize it too late
I am afraid that my passion will die or grow cold
I am afraid of commitment in love

I am afraid that I will love someone passionately but that I won't be good enough for them

I am afraid of no one listening
I am afraid of my arm/hand/fingers being injured so that I can longer longer play the guitar
I am afraid of the music dying
I am afraid that my parents don't want me to do what I've been called to
I am afraid of letting my friends down too often that they won't care anymore
I am afraid of people using me to get what they want and leaving me in the dumpster when they are done.
I am afraid that I don't try hard enough for God
I am afraid that people will think I'm rude for not speaking to them when I'm only shy and enjoy silence more.
I am afraid that I will not have the right words to say when I need them.
I am afraid of my friends going to hell if I shared the Gospel to them
I am afraid that I have not shared the Gospel enough to them

I am afraid of becoming too cocky when I drive and then killing someone
I am afraid of awkwardness
I am afraid of not being myself
I am afraid that my dreams are untrue and the wrong thing for my life
I am afraid I am 'all talk and no walk'
I am afraid I don’t pray enough
I am afraid that my pride will be my downfall
But I am learning
I am afraid of leaning on others
I am afraid that I will not be able to laugh at myself
I am afraid that I will always be just one of the guys
Though I like to be sometimes
I am afraid that I may crack one day
I am afraid for my sisters
I am afraid for my parents because of my sisters
I am afraid for my friends
I am afraid for myself

When I get really afraid
I come to you in trust.
I'm proud to praise God;
fearless now, I trust in God.
What can flesh do to me?
Psalm 56: 3-4
The Message & KJV

Smash Your Problems into Fragments

Sometimes when everything around me breaks
I just want to stand still
And let all the tiny pieces
Fly past me

And even if I'm not untouchable
And one hits me
Even in the eye
I'd be okay with that

Because I'd be part of something

Christmas Time is Here

Hope your Holidays
Are Merry and Fun
And that if you have time off
You enjoy yourself

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!

Para su Amor

I don't even know what it is anymore
Is it an obsession
A lust, a want,
True Love?

I don't even know anymore
I know there are people in the world I love
My family
My friends

There are different types of love
Family love
True Blue Friendship
Love for a man that you never knew you could

I know I love all my family
I love Sarah and Kristina and Emma
I love people who are closer to me then my own family
In times of darkness

But I don't know if I've ever loved a man
So much as I loved that boy
But was it all fake
A desire that was crushed so easily?

Am I in love?
Or am I in love with the wrong man?
I hope I'm not so desperate to go with another
When I've waited so long

Just to hear you say those eight letters in my ear

Moment of Perfect Clarity

Have you ever had a moment
That one perfect moment
where it was suddenly so clear
What you were meant to do with your life?

But then as you thought about it
You grew weary
Or afraid
Or unsure of it was really the right thing

How many people would you disappoint if you did it
How many would you hurt
How many would wish you went to college before that
How many could be saved if you did though?

So many times
Running through this situation in my minds eye
Someday is sometimes not as good as now
Now I'm asking if you know what to do

Maybe you need to write a book, or direct a movie,
Or talk to someone who you've never met
Or write a song.
Maybe it will change, influence someone's life.

But maybe 'now' means when the circumstances fall in place
Miraculously like falling from heaven itself
And that really means now
So its actually in the perfect time

So someday I may be a 'rock star'

Memories of Yesteryear

Have you ever had that one moment
That perfect moment
That you could never describe
Never redo again?

That moment while seemingly lost
Is stuck forever in your mind
Playing over and over
Like a broken record

And the details start to get less clear
But the over all message is still there
And it seems like a distant thought
An old dream

Maybe you don't even remember it for a few days
Or weeks
Or months
Or years even

But Its Still There, Waiting to Be Remembered