Here, There, Anywhere

high by ` ppimm `

Where am I going?

Where am I going?

Show yourself to me

Show yourself to me again

Do I stay

Do I go

Do I dare leave

What will change me the best?

I need to hear but I'll cover my ears

I need to feel but it's more than that

I need to

I'm fighting this

But I'm getting beaten so so bad

It's getting to me

But the feelings are getting to me

But the deafness is getting to me

Let me step out of this into something else

Even if I end up beaten and bloody

It's better, better, better

Then standing here digging my own boring grave

Phoenix Made of Ash

So many things were meant to be

And weren't

Like you

and me

Why are we so afraid of taking chances?

Why does it matter if we end up 

on the cutting room

floor?

The situations and circumstances

The people and places

They define us

They make us exactly who we are

And I don't like it

But no I don't hate it

Sometimes I like it

But who ever said I love it?

I'll take it as it comes

Hit me fast

Throw me low

One day, one day

I will rise

Time is not the enemy

The enemy here 

is me

Head Out of the Clouds

So when do I become 

important?

When do I change someone's

world?

And it occurs to me.

I already have

Because none of these people would stick around

if I didn't mean something to them

As Clear as the First Day I Met You

The way your fingers

brush against mine;

the way your hand

wrapped around mine

The small talk

The gentle laughs

The fun teasing

The whole camp

If I could do it again

I would

If I could make time stop

I would

If it was a test

I think I failed

If you come back one last time

I'll give in

Because I've never meet anyone

quite like you

And I don't want anyone to take you

away from me

Let's catch up over coffee?

Stop. Listen. Look. Stare.

Stop.

Listen.

Look.

Stare.

It's been almost a month

And I need you here.

I found a great diner 

open 24 hours not far from here

Stop. Listen. Look. Stare.

I've taken a path

You're taking yours

I don't know if I know,

you know, we we both are any more

Stop. Listen. Look. Stare.

Let's take a trip down to that sunset beach

We can catch up, yell, be who we wanna be.

I know the secrets, in the sand we can find the key

Sing to the stars, we could both be free.

Stop. Listen. Look. Stare.

 Open up your heart, 

I'll open mine

And if we do

I'm sure we'll be fine.

Hearts Like a Song Burning Up the Night Sky

Strengthen Me to the End

So close

So close

I can taste the end

on the tip of my tongue

It hasn't come easy

It's been a rough few months

And babe

It ain't over yet

It doesn't get really hard until the end has come

Waves, Wind, Fire

Crash

With such force

against the rocky crags of my heart

Sting

With a coldness

my lungs revive and begin to breathe

Burn

With a vehemence

that i can begin to feel again

EEG Dance

Can't escape the thoughts

They swirl                                                 

                                 They mingle

They weave

Fade in

Fade out

Hesitating

The ghosts are shaking hands

do you want this

do you want this

do you want this

for the rest of your life?

got your back

and you've got mine

2 am conversations

running straight into the ground

                                 the touch

                                   the sounds

co-co-colliding                                                                          

where is my mind spinning?

one spot stop

sitting in this chair

and i haven't moved

more than these fingers,                              twirling hair                  

Details of the Past

Another year

past

vanished

gone.

Are you going to hold onto it?

Are you going to remember

Every Little Detail

That made it your best

Or worst.

It broke you

You are covered in bruises.

The black and blue pressed into your skin

"This was the year"

But it wasn't.

The promotion never came.

And you never reached your dream

So what will next year be?

Will you focus on the past

Hinder your next chance

To even breath.

Ah, me too.

I've been there.

I still may be

right. there. too.

But. I've been blessed.

I look to my friends.

I look to my family.

All around me so, so happy.

(And I may grumble

And may act spoiled.

But I know that I have something good.

In this moment .)

So I'll drink to their health

And remember them all.

And hope that this next year 

I remain so lucky.

Auld Lang Syne

Story of the Stars

i can see

that you're glowing

i can see

your lips quiver

so say what you need

so say what you have

to do

to do

  i will listen to you

because it needs to escape

i will listen to you

speak, whisper, yell, scream

then you will

BURST

into a million multicoloured stars

from the inside out

because your story has been told.

but it isn't over,

and that

is my favourite part

your soul is a beautiful living thing that needs to be known

Me and You, Me and Me

what will it take

to make you see me?

what will it take

to make you notice me?

is it my curly hair,

my lack of make-up,

my chosen clothes,

that make you look past me?

don't you understand?

don't you realize?

do you just not care

when i hold my breathe when i pass by

but i'm no here to change for anybody

i'm not here to please myself

i'm not waiting for you to catch me

five years too late

one word

one look

one time

one once

this is what i want, just once

Leave My Mind For Just One Moment

The spotted memories

Twist,

Curl,

Dance gracefully, frantically, in my mind

The one were our eyes met,

The one were you held my fingers

briefly

with your own

That time we talked about past days

And sad moments

I told someone, you, for the first time

 I heard the pain of regret in your soft voice

The words I wanted to say

As I watched you everyday that week

Filled by mind, body, mouth

In silence

But it was your words that made me

Look again for something

The missing part of me

That fills all of me to the last atom.

Oh!

I am so curious

I want to know how your faith is so strong

And makes me want to heal, grow, get stronger

I still want to know you better

I still want to know you

I still want to know

I still want...

Can't you leave my mind for just one minute?

I need to think things through

Like how my shyness became me

And that's the end of me and...

Why Can't I Just Forget About You?

The First Time I Saw the Lights in Your Eyes

 I'll do it right the first time

Because I'm not ready to live like everyone else

I'll do it right the first time

Because that's what I want

"But the heartbreak, experience,

the knowing you're actually in..."

But can't you see?

This is me. I know me.

Maybe this is meant to be like this

As much as I hate it

And don't want it

And may want to trade it in a second.

But my heart is aching as it tells me

how romantic it will be

to finally say to him one day

"I waited my whole life just for you"

Only you.

Always you.

I'll know. I'll know.

You're the one I dream about having.

We'll do it right the first time.

And even if you end up being my second

And I'm your fourth

We'll get through.

Because He keeps us in His circle of time.

Drop Like Wallflowers to the Ground

I keep myself busy

So I forget who I am

Because I don't need to be reminded

That I'm alone

Being by myself

Is less tiresome

Then being with the crowd

And standing there

Standing.

Watching..

Waiting...

Wishing....

And wanting to cry

Because you can't

Talk

To any of them no matter what you think

Even at home you are the same

Because no one 

watches, talks, waits, looks

At you

Are we just more independent?

Or we just good at faking

The loneliness we feel

Onto fake smiles and well wishes?

But know what?

It only matters when it gets to you

And you, out of everyone,

Believe it to be true.

Can I  listen to you?

Relationship Identity Crisis

I suppose it wasn't enough

Though I thought it was

It's never enough

It will never be

What is the meaning to the word

That I thought that we were

Is it a pun? I guess

I just don't understand

It is always about you
And I shouldn't mind because I'm happy to have you
But were do I go
For an ear and shoulder?

I just don't want to push my luck

Because I don't know

How far a push

will go

Before we snap.

But I won't say

That it hurts me deepest

Because I don't know you anymore

And we could be the same

And I miss the us before

Who are we now?

What are we?

Who am I?

Hey World; It's Time to Take Me On

I always hate driving you home

Because I never know

How it's going to be later

Between you and me

We could spend weeks not talking

Or texting 

Or emailing

And I hate that part the most

I like it when we're closest

Like we use to be

And I think finally

I've got it in my mind

It's okay to talk about the past

And what happened

And maybe open that up

Because it's a part of you and me and us

But more than that...

I think I've learned that I need

To let it go

And talk about it casually

once in a while

Whenever you're ready we will

I won't make it into a big deal

Because it's not

And I love you, my friend.

Who you were: I loved

Who you are: I love

Who you will be: I will love

That is what He's taught me lately

Wherever we go from here

Just know that's how it will forever be

No matter how much seems to come between us

In the good and bad and parted ways

this is what i've learned

The Ivity In Creativity

Creativity

Always seems

To be wiped

Clean out of me

Though the days get longer

There is always more to do

And I forget, yes, to stop

And look around me

Look Around!

It's all around

Even when you can't see it

Even when you can't feel it

It's in plain sight

Now its in the shadows

And all you need to do

Is open up and see

And embrace it to yourself!

It wants you

The pictures, the words, the melody, the art

It's always been in your head, your heart

So Do Your Thing; Live Your Art!

Hands Holding Hearts

The hand I once held

Belonged to someone I knew

I knew better

Than I knew everyone else

It was the hand we dropped

When things got rough

The only one

That would always have picked me up

It was that hand I reached for

Wanting to know its touch again

Wanting to remember

Every line, every pulse in that hand

The hand I got was not the one I wanted

So cold, dead, undeserving

Of a fate 

I do not understand

A hand held mine

Squeezing and assuring everything was fine

I need time

To find who I should have been all along

But where was the life in that hand?

I will grasp the fingers between my own

And wait for the warmth 

and the pulse 

and the colour

To return to every cell.

It will be your hand I hold

When we dance again

Under the stars

Like those nights long and far ago

Our hands raised above our heads

Year of the Creature Inside Us All

Curled up inside my mind

They scratch away.

The dark, the dark

They love the dark

It keeps them warm

Living in more than a fool's paradise

They pace the halls

Of men, great and small

Haunting the hallow walls

And staircases of the heart.

You hear their footsteps

And their breathing tightens something in your throat.

Black.

Eyes shut to block these things out

Or keep them locked out of the world

That is hardly any safer.

The phantasm floats about

Down city streets

Not just in your mind

And the minds of the good

It's time to take a flashlight

And a bat

to these ghosts and monsters

That are within us all

It's Time to Deal With Yourself and Your Past

Walk Which Way

I can't do this

Not anymore

I've stayed strong, I've walked on

As long as I could

But in the next 72 hours

There will be a fork in the road

And I'll have to choose the way

That I want to go

I can fly through the skies

And see the world I don't know

And learn, and wonder, and question

As I go

Or I could get out

Just relocate

Settle down in my own place

Likely I'll decorate

Or I can search high and low

And send out my name

And hope that my schooling

Is what someone will be willing to pay

Yet all of the paths point to me

by myself

No one helping, along for the ride

Just me

And That Scares Me A Little