Take a Picture... It Will Last Longer

EEG Dance

2012-01-14T01:34:00.001-07:00

Can't escape the thoughts

They swirl

They mingle

They weave

Fade in

Fade out

Hesitating

The ghosts are shaking hands

do you want this

for the rest of your life?

got your back

and you've got mine

2 am conversations

running straight into the ground

the touch

the sounds

co-co-colliding

where is my mind spinning?

one spot stop

sitting in this chair

and i haven't moved

more than these fingers, twirling hair

Details of the Past

2011-12-31T23:52:00.000-07:00

Another year

past

vanished

gone.

Are you going to hold onto it?

Are you going to remember

Every Little Detail

That made it your best

Or worst.

It broke you

You are covered in bruises.

The black and blue pressed into your skin

"This was the year"

But it wasn't.

The promotion never came.

And you never reached your dream

So what will next year be?

Will you focus on the past

Hinder your next chance

To even breath.

Ah, me too.

I've been there.

I still may be

right. there. too.

But. I've been blessed.

I look to my friends.

I look to my family.

All around me so, so happy.

(And I may grumble

And may act spoiled.

But I know that I have something good.

In this moment .)

So I'll drink to their health

And remember them all.

And hope that this next year

I remain so lucky.

Auld Lang Syne

Story of the Stars

2011-11-29T23:13:00.001-07:00

i can see

that you're glowing

i can see

your lips quiver

so say what you need

so say what you have

to do

i will listen to you

because it needs to escape

i will listen to you

speak, whisper, yell, scream

then you will

BURST

into a million multicoloured stars

from the inside out

because your story has been told.

but it isn't over,

and that

is my favourite part

your soul is a beautiful living thing that needs to be known

Me and You, Me and Me

2011-10-22T00:06:00.000-06:00

what will it take

to make you see me?

what will it take

to make you notice me?

is it my curly hair,

my lack of make-up,

my chosen clothes,

that make you look past me?

don't you understand?

don't you realize?

do you just not care

when i hold my breathe when i pass by

but i'm no here to change for anybody

i'm not here to please myself

i'm not waiting for you to catch me

five years too late

one word

one look

one time

one once

this is what i want, just once

Leave My Mind For Just One Moment

2011-09-28T22:46:00.000-06:00

The spotted memories

Twist,

Curl,

Dance gracefully, frantically, in my mind

The one were our eyes met,

The one were you held my fingers

briefly

with your own

That time we talked about past days

And sad moments

I told someone, you, for the first time

I heard the pain of regret in your soft voice

The words I wanted to say

As I watched you everyday that week

Filled by mind, body, mouth

In silence

But it was your words that made me

Look again for something

The missing part of me

That fills all of me to the last atom.

Oh!

I am so curious

I want to know how your faith is so strong

And makes me want to heal, grow, get stronger

I still want to know you better

I still want to know you

I still want to know

I still want...

Can't you leave my mind for just one minute?

I need to think things through

Like how my shyness became me

And that's the end of me and...

Why Can't I Just Forget About You?

The First Time I Saw the Lights in Your Eyes

2011-08-11T00:12:00.001-06:00

I'll do it right the first time

Because I'm not ready to live like everyone else

I'll do it right the first time

Because that's what I want

"But the heartbreak, experience,

the knowing you're actually in..."

But can't you see?

This is me. I know me.

Maybe this is meant to be like this

As much as I hate it

And don't want it

And may want to trade it in a second.

But my heart is aching as it tells me

how romantic it will be

to finally say to him one day

"I waited my whole life just for you"

Only you.

Always you.

I'll know. I'll know.

You're the one I dream about having.

We'll do it right the first time.

And even if you end up being my second

And I'm your fourth

We'll get through.

Because He keeps us in His circle of time.

Drop Like Wallflowers to the Ground

2011-06-19T00:32:00.001-06:00

I keep myself busy

So I forget who I am

Because I don't need to be reminded

That I'm alone

Being by myself

Is less tiresome

Then being with the crowd

And standing there

Standing.

Watching..

Waiting...

Wishing....

And wanting to cry

Because you can't

Talk

To any of them no matter what you think

Even at home you are the same

Because no one

watches, talks, waits, looks

At you

Are we just more independent?

Or we just good at faking

The loneliness we feel

Onto fake smiles and well wishes?

But know what?

It only matters when it gets to you

And you, out of everyone,

Believe it to be true.

Can I listen to you?

Relationship Identity Crisis

2011-05-05T23:50:00.001-06:00

I suppose it wasn't enough

Though I thought it was

It's never enough

It will never be

What is the meaning to the word

That I thought that we were

Is it a pun? I guess

I just don't understand

It is always about you
And I shouldn't mind because I'm happy to have you
But were do I go
For an ear and shoulder?

I just don't want to push my luck

Because I don't know

How far a push

will go

Before we snap.

But I won't say

That it hurts me deepest

Because I don't know you anymore

And we could be the same

And I miss the us before

Who are we now?

What are we?

Who am I?

Hey World; It's Time to Take Me On

2011-04-24T22:48:00.014-06:00

I always hate driving you home

Because I never know

How it's going to be later

Between you and me

We could spend weeks not talking

Or texting

Or emailing

And I hate that part the most

I like it when we're closest

Like we use to be

And I think finally

I've got it in my mind

It's okay to talk about the past

And what happened

And maybe open that up

Because it's a part of you and me and us

But more than that...

I think I've learned that I need

To let it go

And talk about it casually

once in a while

Whenever you're ready we will

I won't make it into a big deal

Because it's not

And I love you, my friend.

Who you were: I loved

Who you are: I love

Who you will be: I will love

That is what He's taught me lately

Wherever we go from here

Just know that's how it will forever be

No matter how much seems to come between us

In the good and bad and parted ways

this is what i've learned

The Ivity In Creativity

2011-03-18T17:05:00.004-06:00

Creativity

Always seems

To be wiped

Clean out of me

Though the days get longer

There is always more to do

And I forget, yes, to stop

And look around me

Look Around!

It's all around

Even when you can't see it

Even when you can't feel it

It's in plain sight

Now its in the shadows

And all you need to do

Is open up and see

And embrace it to yourself!

It wants you

The pictures, the words, the melody, the art

It's always been in your head, your heart

So Do Your Thing; Live Your Art!

Hands Holding Hearts

2011-02-06T00:28:00.001-07:00

The hand I once held

Belonged to someone I knew

I knew better

Than I knew everyone else

It was the hand we dropped

When things got rough

The only one

That would always have picked me up

It was that hand I reached for

Wanting to know its touch again

Wanting to remember

Every line, every pulse in that hand

The hand I got was not the one I wanted

So cold, dead, undeserving

Of a fate

I do not understand

A hand held mine

Squeezing and assuring everything was fine

I need time

To find who I should have been all along

But where was the life in that hand?

I will grasp the fingers between my own

And wait for the warmth

and the pulse

and the colour

To return to every cell.

It will be your hand I hold

When we dance again

Under the stars

Like those nights long and far ago

Our hands raised above our heads

Year of the Creature Inside Us All

2011-01-15T22:30:00.001-07:00

Curled up inside my mind

They scratch away.

The dark, the dark

They love the dark

It keeps them warm

Living in more than a fool's paradise

They pace the halls

Of men, great and small

Haunting the hallow walls

And staircases of the heart.

You hear their footsteps

And their breathing tightens something in your throat.

Black.

Eyes shut to block these things out

Or keep them locked out of the world

That is hardly any safer.

The phantasm floats about

Down city streets

Not just in your mind

And the minds of the good

It's time to take a flashlight

And a bat

to these ghosts and monsters

That are within us all

It's Time to Deal With Yourself and Your Past

Walk Which Way

2010-12-13T13:00:00.001-07:00

I can't do this

Not anymore

I've stayed strong, I've walked on

As long as I could

But in the next 72 hours

There will be a fork in the road

And I'll have to choose the way

That I want to go

I can fly through the skies

And see the world I don't know

And learn, and wonder, and question

As I go

Or I could get out

Just relocate

Settle down in my own place

Likely I'll decorate

Or I can search high and low

And send out my name

And hope that my schooling

Is what someone will be willing to pay

Yet all of the paths point to me

by myself

No one helping, along for the ride

Just me

And That Scares Me A Little

Anger and a Bag of Chips

2010-11-10T23:47:00.002-07:00

Angry.

So, so angry.

This feeling in the pit

of my stomach eating me alive.

This was you!

How could you make me feel this way

How... How?

Pitiful me.

The cards were always in your hands

And the dice were heavy on that side

You played it so well

I never heard them say 'check'

It's plastered all over the world

What we are not

And you are now

Without me and with her

Don't think I don't know

Because it's reflected in your eyes

And that, my dear,

was your one mistake.

This anger will be gone before long

As will this pitiful trace

I don't need cards to tell me that

and you're nothing to me.

Ciao.

Cutting Rope

2010-10-30T22:46:00.000-06:00

I said I'd never let you go, and I never did.

There were so many times

When I wanted to.

When I could have.

Maybe I should have.

So many people telling me it was okay,

It is part of life,

You have to do it to move on,

You only are hurting yourself

It hurt so bad to keep holding

On to something I couldn't see to the bottom of.

But it would have hurt worse

If I let go.

I don't regret my choice

I don't think it was wrong

In the long run of things

I'm finally content.

cutting your rope would have meant cutting mine too

Oh No. I Taste the Hate.

2010-10-04T22:57:00.003-06:00

Music

is a universal language

Shared by you and me

and everyone

We hear it in our minds

We feel it in our bones

We say it with our lips

We understand it with our hearts

So why is there so much hate

When it moves everyone differently?

When it brings you to tears

And I am left unimpressed

But hear:

Do not bash the rap because they say whats on their minds

Do not diss the hip-hop soul; they feel it in their bones

Do not hate the rock and roll for playing loud and proud and unashamed

Do not shun the metal gods for being extremely brave

Do not dislike the classical for keeping with the laws

Do not scorn the electronic and the synth for doing something different

Do not despise the country for staying loyal to their roots

Do not trash the pop contemporary for singing what we all know and are

Do not mock the indie or the alternative or the punk or the gothic

Because they all give us something different.

Instead quiet those who

Will rudely and silently jeer at those who actually have talent

And ask them why they are not

on the stage performing.

It's all right not to like certain things but don't force the hate on others

They Break, They Make, They Hold

2010-09-24T21:56:00.000-06:00

I will be okay

I hope my voice does not tell you otherwise

These shaking hands of mine

will stay by my side.

I will not force

anything upon you, it's not me

These shaking hands of mine

will not drag you away.

I want to tell you

that those three words are all for you

These shaking hands of mine

will do near anything for you.

Will you take my hand?

Hey! I'm with the band.

2010-09-09T15:16:00.001-06:00

Here i am

Stepping out of this fear

Out of this darkness

Into the pounding sway of something...

A song.

I move along

My hands keeping the melody

Across the plain

The beat moves my feet in time

The bass keeps me swaying

I want to act crazy

I want to have fun

The snare like lightning

Cuts into the consistent pounding

The crashing

Making me keep time

Oh! Melodious words

Translate into the hearts of the people

This is why I'm here

I'll help you along.

A final show of what we can do

This is the final note

Gone after this

But forever a song

We are all different. We all contribute something. We are one in this song.

Life, Heart, Soul

2010-08-13T00:03:00.004-06:00

I don't want to hide in the closet
Away from the sun
I don't want to feel cold to the touch
And never be able to brush the warmth of your skin

I don't want to cower in fear
And look hungry for life
My own life
To begin

My lungs are breathing
I can't get enough air
My heart is beating
I can't get enough flow

Where are the people that I need?
Where are the ways that I can escape?
Where is up? Where is down?
I need a hand to reach me, pull me out

Broken I'll stand
Completed I'll fall
Put the wind in these collapsed lungs
And life in this empty heart

i stand before you giving you my soul, my all

Fate Understood

2010-08-12T10:16:00.004-06:00

'Do you believe in fate?'
She asked
He sat there
Not understanding her words

2 months later
They were so in love
A boy and a girl
Taking on the world

'Will you be mine?'
He asked
She cried there
Joy running down her face

1 year later
They were just married
A man and a woman
Taking on the world

'Will you be there?'
She asked
He nodded
Never wanting to leave his bride

5 years later
They had three kids
The man and woman
Taking on the world

'Do you believe in fate?'
He asked
She understood
When the doctors told them the diagnosis

65 years later
They were in love
They were married
They had a loving family

He understood those words from years ago
Now that he lived them.
She cried and smiled and nodded
As they talked about life together.

4 weeks later
They were together again
A silent promise
Never to leave each other's side.

Sea Song

2010-07-05T17:22:00.003-06:00

There was a day

I was washed out to sea

And with the waves hitting my back

I heard the most beautiful melody

And with water in my ears

And a song in my soul

I sang the song back to the wind

So you could find out where I am

And the waves crashed over my song

And the the wind carried it away wrong

And the sand buried it in castles

Away from my reach

Yet you still heard me
And floated out to meet me
And we embraced on the bottom of the sea
With the fish as our witnesses

the sun still smiles on you and me and our song

Run, Drive, Shout

2010-06-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

Here I am

What more do you want?
I don't expect that you know
I am not enjoying this

~

I watch another wedding
Of one of my friends
And I never have felt so lonely
And like I don't exist

~

The traffic rolls on by
As I sit on the curbside
And wonder how many people are stuck in routine
Just like me

~

I talk about my day
And you mutter back "Pardon?"
And I wonder how hard it is
To concentrate on a living breathing human and not a machine

~

Hey, I'm tired of being forgotten
And I'm tired of being alone
Can't you see I don't want to ignored
And stuck, forever, in this way?

I'm doing my best to free myself
And I'm getting better at making myself known
But I'm getting tired of living
Where things are staying the same

So I'm grabbing my keys and driving
And tying my laces up to run
I'm going to by a megaphone
So the world can hear me, son

Are you willing to come with me?

(nothing you do can) Stop Me From Loving You

2010-06-08T22:09:00.001-06:00

Oh!

Don't you know that it's

impossible for me

to stop loving you?

Nothing that you do,
intentionally or not,
can ever stop me
from loving you.

I don't care who you dated
So don't bring them up
Be in the moment now with me
Not in the past with your ex

I don't care who your family is
But I don't want drama
Sort it out so it doesn't spill
Over into our life

I don't care what you look like
But please take care of yourself
So you don't smell dead
Or look like you jumped into a dumpster

I don't care what your interests are
Music, photography, reading, math.
I will love whatever you do
Because it defines you

Be yourself with me
Because that is what I love most
I want to share that with you
About myself too

I don't care; I'll love you because I do

coffee stains and tide-to-go

2010-05-28T21:50:00.001-06:00

Friendships fall apart
So others can be made
Relationships break up
So better ones can be made in place

But as much as I believe
that this is true
I'm so glad
that I held onto you

Maybe I had to prove something
To myself this whole time
Or maybe I was trying
to show you something

like how we are meant to stick together

Oh! Summer

2010-05-24T20:44:00.003-06:00

We could get away from here
We can run away
We can run far away from here
You and me and all our dreams

We can go to the mountains
We can go to the ocean
We can go to the prairies
We can go to the furthest corners of our minds

Driving along, singing at the top of our lungs
Pictures, laughs, so much joy
Late night talks, a bond
strengthened for life

Summertime
Road Trips
Friends
Love

This summer is looking to be the best in years

The Other Side of a Cannot

2010-04-30T21:56:00.002-06:00

i've proved them wrong before
i've shown that i'm not just
a number or a colour or
a face

i've gotten what was impossible
i've gotten what was was coming
i've caught that wave that looked so small
but was the center of the world

it hasn't been easy
it hasn't been all nice
it hasn't been friendly
- rough, mean, and lonely -

but in the end its worth everything
but in the end i know it was worth doing
when i get to see that smile on your face
and feel accomplished inside

this has been a great pleasure doing business

Knick Knacks

2010-04-27T13:09:00.003-06:00

The best things
Are those little things
You know the ones
The ones that make you smile

And that fill your stomach with
butterflies of a million colours
And its just that little thing
that just happens to exist

A hot guy tells a plain girl
You are Beautiful
A tiny baby squeezes your fingers
And you know you're needed

The music and words just flow together
As you try something new
Just seeing the face of that special someone
Gives you a high all day

Hearing that one song that defines you
In every way
That one song that you can sing
Perfectly; word for word on key

Hearing from that old friend
That made a huge impact
An never thought you'd see again
And there they are

It's just those little things that mean so much to me

Come Along Together

2010-04-15T14:14:00.003-06:00

i've held onto this
far too long
and i've been blaming myself
and taking it out on you

i'm sorry for anything that is untrue
but know not everything here is about you
it may seem like it is
but there's more that happened in my life

than just one misfortune
and one love
one boy and a girl
and the sky above our heads

i'll point to the evening star
when its dark and we meet again
there's too much life
in just one finger

sometimes words just aren't enough to say what needs to be said

Spread Love Like Violence, Yes

2010-04-11T19:00:00.004-06:00

What is life
Without love?
What is love
Without life?

There is no point to live
If there isn't love
Because everything
Would be gloomy and black

What is the point of friends
If there is no love?
That person who will comfort you
Who will help you make it through

What is the point of music?
Of stories? Of art? Of pretty dresses?
What's the point of birds singing?
If there is no point of love why are we here?

You put the life into love
You make it so possible
You are the reason I will keep loving
You are love.

I will keep singing though my heart may get broken
1000x
I will keep loving though no one likes me
Because I can see love.

Love paints the world in color

Time After Time After Sign

2010-03-31T23:28:00.001-06:00

In the end
It all comes down
to one thing:
You

Because no one should give more
than they are able
No one should give anything
If they don't want to

And I've been putting in 110
And just when I'm ready to give up
You decide to send me a cute text
That makes me decide that there's some hope

I don't want signs anymore
I just want this in words
Are you in the business of using me like everyone else thinks
Or are we friends like I know we are?

Tú eras mi mejor amigo. ¿Lo que estamos ahora?

Life In Things

2010-03-25T23:53:00.003-06:00

So many things I don't know
Some things I don't like
Some call me a picky person
I'd say that's pretty much right

Some would say I've got my life in order
Others would say I've got my head on straight
I just look at them and smile
And think they have a lot to learn

I know what I like
And I know where I stand
But as to who I am
It takes a lifetime to learn

Either way on this stretch of road
I'm facing the sun
Letting it take me where it goes
And shape me from what I am

Just a few of my favourite things...

As You Like It

2010-03-20T00:47:00.003-06:00

What's it gonna take
For you to notice me?
What's it gonna take
For me to make you mine?

If I turn away
it's never going to happen
If I look at you straight
Will you look at me and say something?

Lights Lights Lights
Going off in my mind
The explosions
Set my heart on fire

I hate this feeling
I need a break
I don't want to be blinded when
I need to see clearest

You leave me vulnerable and breathless at once

Sing It Out

2010-02-28T00:27:00.003-07:00

She said
Don't let me stop you
from doing what you wanna do
And that's what I think too.

Who's gonna stop me
If this is really what I'm suppose to do?
It's time to get over myself
To get over you

And start making sense
Of what needs to be done
And what needs to be aimed at
To hit it in the middle of the eye

La Do Da

I, Hurt

2010-02-06T19:25:00.004-07:00

It really hurts
When someone does something to a loved one
Because they don't know the whole reason
Why it was happening in the first place

And maybe they were both slightly wrong in the first place
But still who is that one person to say
Maybe they should get the whole darn thing
in order before hurting people with blunt knives

And maybe I was also in the wrong
because I felt I could help
But said the wrong things
Because it was the wrong time, I was upset.

It blurred my judgment
But I know I wasn't totally wrong
And that explanation doesn't suffice for me
Not a lot of it does.

And now I'm weeping bitter tears
Of sadness and of rage and hurt
Because I know things won't be the same
Between any of us.

It's not just me who thinks
That this is a bad quality
It's more than 5.
Above 5 freaking people.

I'm not coming back
Not because of a bruised ego.
But because you refuse to see the whole story
And treat my loved ones like crap.

...and I feel like I have no where to turn to comfort my mind

Rock Fist Rhapsody

2010-01-18T00:12:00.004-07:00

Why do we feel
that those that can open our hearts
are gods among men
when really they are so human?

Why do we scream their names
Until our lungs hurt
Is it so someone knows
in this moment we are not alone?

You never wanted to be raised above
Yet there you are like a myth
But even those that look like gods
are human even more than you and i at times

You are just a man
And I am human
And we are the same
In our suits of skin and blood and bones

touching you won't make me immortal

Goodbye Hello

2009-12-31T23:57:00.001-07:00

Are you ready
for this coming year
and for everything
that it will hold?

Are you ready
for heartbreak
for love
for second chances?

Are you ready
for new beginnings
and failures
and choices?

Are you ready
to hold onto the old and new
and forget the new and old
when it doesn't suit you best?

Are you ready
to become who you were meant to be
not compromising anything
to be that?

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

Crying Daisy

2009-12-08T14:23:00.004-07:00

Sometimes I just want to ask you
Straight out with no strings attached
If you'd rather me
Just walk out of your life

I want to know if you'd think
It would be easier for the both of us
To forget each other
When that's hardly the case.

If my name was just a whisper in the wind
And your name was just a name
Would it be easier
To get on with life not thinking of those things?

After loving and hurting
and crying and singing and lying
and silently admitting our deepest fears
to each other

Where do you get off
Just cutting it off
Without consent
from me?

It hurts too much to think about friends sometimes

101 is You.

2009-11-20T23:41:00.005-07:00

So what am I suppose to say?
If I can't speak honestly to you.
What am I suppose to do?
If I can't be close to you.

"Babe, the truth hurts so just accept it."
"Hun, we all got to face the music."
Baby I wouldn't be here if I wanted lies.
Hunny I live to dance to the music.

Maybe I'll just stand here
Waiting
With my arms stretched wide open
So you know you are always welcomed

Into my home, into my heart
Just tell me the truth
Clearly, honestly, real
Because then maybe we can both feel less tense

Because I don't like knowing that this is all I can do for you.

[post 101]

100 equals me

2009-11-04T00:02:00.001-07:00

Just a little bit of color.
Just a touch of grey.
Is this the half full or
the half empty glass next to me?

But where do I fit into this?
Am I adding to the colour
or fading back in the grey?
Where do I stand?

Vibrant.
Radiant.
Can you see her
dancing through the airwaves of the pages?

Dull.
Plain.
A hand waves
above the crowd, but you don't see him?

What's the cost
of your soul
When you aren't colourful
When you aren't plain.

Stand up. Stand out.
Splash some color on life.
Get comfortable.
So you don't invade into personal lives.

A balance on stilts
A balance of scales.
A balance in life and death.
A balance in hues.

Let's paint the city with lights.

[Post 100]

Flying in Jar

2009-10-13T23:19:00.004-06:00

I never wanted to trap you
To make you feel that way
When the only thing I wanted for you to do
Was spread your wings as wide as you could

I never wanted you to fall
But I'd catch you any way.
That's all I ever did
I always tried to be there

But now your wings don't seem so golden,
they seem to shrivel against the sun
And I don't understand how this could happen
When you were made to resist them.

I thought we'd fly together
But your golden wings are made of wax
I want to save you
But you won't let me catch you

How am I suppose to help you
When you slap my hand away
You said forever, until we were grey
But that must have been a thought from yesterday

I'm still grieving
Not for those beautiful golden wings
But for the person who had them
This chapter never was finished

Can you close it or try to write some more?

Lo Que Será

2009-10-07T17:38:00.003-06:00

Che sera, sera
Whatever will be, shall be
But only if I can have you
And you can have me

I can't understand why
people think that they are fine with this
Is it when living is fine
All high and mighty?

But then out of nowhere...
BAM
Someone close to your heart dies
Well che sera, sera to you

Wait, what? Did I hurt your feelings?
Or do you get what I'm saying?
It's either all the time or never
that yo live with this notion

No regrets, che sera, sera
That's how I live
I don't question what happens, or why,
Or what will happen

Still, it's good to be alive

Flat on the Back

2009-09-23T19:32:00.004-06:00

Are you willing to cry?
Are you willing to die?
Do you truly believe
that it will make this right?

If you don't believe
Why are you still standing here
By my side telling me
I'm doing right?

Because I don't need that.
I don't need you
telling me something you don't believe.
Yet, I can see it clearly for myself

Maybe I'll fall flat on my back
And wonder why no one was there
To catch me
When I thought someone would be

But at least it will make me strong
I'll stand and walk
Knowing I'm talking my walk
Unlike you.

Because hypocrisy leads you no where

Love (The Lost Language) ♥

2009-09-10T23:18:00.007-06:00

{A song I wrote for my friend
Who is getting married
September 13 ♥}

I've been caught off guard
Something about your eyes keeps me here
My heart feels a little strange
Could this be love,
Making me feel this way?
You're asking me for the first dance tonight

Stuck in this moment with you;
(Where) time doesn't exist

Love like the song that can't be written
The song that can't be sung
It echoes a lost language
Aching just beneath the skin

Always thought I knew
What love was until we dance that night
Here we are a few months later
Stronger then ever
Holding on together
You're asking me to be yours forever

Broke the wall around your heart
Here we go on this merry-go-round

Chorus

This ends the height of fear
The final test
Running circles
Running circles
Running circles in my head
Today we become one

Chorus

© Me // October 6/08

The Question

2009-08-31T09:53:00.003-06:00

Static, static
Stay as you are
Don't make a move
Because you are static

Don't bring me change
Don't bring about a chase
I'm sitting here
For I am static

The dynamics are not dynamic
Not until I say
And why not sit here a little longer
And drink some more tea?

For I am J. Alfred Prufrock
And this is my love song
As I stay here
And escape the haunting question

But may I turn
twist, tumble, g l i d e
Away to the castle turrets
And I'll watch as life shoots arrows of fire

And then I must make a choice:
Change your course of action
Or stay the same and suffer
Missing out on everything

The dynamics are spinning dynamically
But it's taken a lot to set outside my door
And prove that I don't have to live boringly
So here I go

Will you answer your life question now?

You Want to Know?

2009-08-15T20:33:00.004-06:00

See, the thing is,
That you can take me out
From my comfort zone
But I'll still be me

Oh no, I won't argue
Against the fact that I'll change
I know I'll change
But I'll still be me

I won't conform to your ways
Or your ideas
On the way life should be
Or anything like the kind

So put me in a fairy tale story
Put me in a historic book
Put me in a graphic novel
Put me in your memoir

I won't conform to your feelings when I'm just me

Natural Contrast

2009-07-31T23:22:00.001-06:00

There you see me
But really you don't
Because it's me living within my own lines:
Silhouette

You can't judge me on
Exterior appearance or
Interior motives:
Silhouette

Can I keep my anonymity?
When I'm interviewed by you?
Because it protects my insides:
Silhouette

When I'm shooting the bullet
When I'm flying against the moon
When I'm dancing to my music:
Silhouette

When I'm famous
When I'm gone
Will the sun still shine behind me:
Silhouette

Backlit, Silhouette, Beautiful, Silhouette

Where is your heart now?

2009-07-11T18:39:00.004-06:00

Where is your soul?
When did you stop believing?
Did you see your grace and style
Fly out from beneath your feet?

Have you trapped yourself?
Have you caged everything
- good and bad -
To stop yourself from feeling?

I recall this is the feeling
of being an animal encased
and entrapped and snared
Am I that pitiful that you look away?

So when will your luck change?
When will you figure it out?
That I'm not the enemy -
That I'm only trying to figure you out?

¿Dónde está corazón ahora?

Sip That Soup

2009-06-29T23:43:00.004-06:00

I feel as though my heart should burst
Any second now
Any second now
I swear it will

Something everyone wants
Everyone craves
Everyone needs
No exceptions

But what are you willing to give
to take, to do
In order to get it, to have it,
to keep it

Sit on the sidelines waiting for her to ask you?
Run up to him and tell him your feelings?
Hope that you won't mess up and in time
Everything will come naturally?

Yeah, me too.
My heart could burst
The next time I see you
Despite what I tell it not to do

Love is such as alphabet soup
What letter will you get
What can you see
Will you find those letters

'M-E' ?

Wash Away the Dreams

2009-06-14T23:35:00.003-06:00

The Rain is the Rhythm by Fermented

I've been left here
Stuck in mud
dirty, unwanted, cold,
unloved

Is this how I'm suppose
to decide what to do?
With this rain in my eyes
and my dreams poring down on me?

Will someone grab my hand
Because I don't want to do this
alone anymore.
Like I've done my whole life

Pull me up
Pick me up
I don't want to be stuck
I don't want to be stuck

Alone anymore
Can you make it stop raining
Can you pull my heart from the mud
Can you try to do it for us both?

Help me out from this muddy bottom-less puddle.

Joy & Sorrow

2009-05-25T23:14:00.005-06:00

how can i tell you
just how much you really
actually truly do
mean to me?

my frustration is apparent
and lack of showing emotion
really sets things off
wouldn't you agree?

but all that aside
i will tell you
right here and now
how i really feel about you

being with you makes me:
feel whole, smile, cry with joy,
realize that i have a purpose
far greater then i can understand

so why do we have to make this so hard
to get through when it should be
you and me
me and you

i wonder if i disillusioned myself
right from the beginning
thinking that it was really going to be
simple, easy

maybe i don't understand everything
and maybe you want to keep it that way
but i'm fine with that
if it makes you happy

because that's what i want for you
above everything else
even if, its hard to say,
that doesn't include me

i just want to see you and see you happy

Ready For This?

2009-05-14T12:42:00.004-06:00

"I was born ready"
she says, head raised high
fist by her side
"I love a good challenge"

"I will overcome,
I will rise against,
I will go alone if I must.
I will not be defeated"

"I will rise to the occasion that is life"

Hold onto Hope

2009-04-20T21:37:00.002-06:00

One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own

Going Down

2009-04-13T22:47:00.003-06:00

http://jayxxbe.deviantart.com/

Mayday, mayday
my hearts going in for a crash landing
it was never guaranteed a soft spot to land
from the first moment

our eyes made contact.
So do you promise now?
Cuz I won't fake it
Ever. I stay true

to myself.
I can stay true to you too.
So hold me close
and tell me you'll never let me

leave your arms.
Cuz really all i am is lonely
looking for a best friend
who will never leave me

i just wish that would be you.

Indulge in Thanks

2009-03-24T23:51:00.005-06:00

This will not mean much to anyone
but myself
but more importantly self
don't let yourself not do what you need to

i am looking forward to next year
Which will start this April for me
When i'm nineteen years young
And for the first time free

i'm going to do those things i've been dreaming of
get my hair cut so it gives me a little something new
go on a road trip, see my best friend
and enjoy my life

next year more of my evenings will be free
i'm going to start working out
jogging and maybe eating more
but i still will be picky

i'm excited for this new lease
truly i am
really i have so much already
and i can thank God for all this and more

This is the first year i've been this happy since i was a little kid

Calendar Days

2009-03-12T21:16:00.006-06:00

i guess i'm still waiting
but maybe the real problem is that
i'm doing it so impatiently
that it's becoming a problem

time to slow down
time to figure this out
time to let myself be free
and let it be

i'll be sitting here listening to the rocket summer

Save Myself

2009-02-18T12:07:00.003-07:00

I don't want to fall back
Into that place again
Those feelings again
That life again

Because its so much more depressing
And it keeps me constantly stressing
And I found that if I keep pressing
On, I can make it out

But falling back in would destroy me
So whenever I start to feel that way
I tell myself to stop
And look at how I've been since I left it

And I feel so much lighter; so much better now

Clash of the Titans

2009-02-08T23:49:00.003-07:00

I cannot feel inspired right now
Because my soul is breaking apart
Looking for its other half
And my brain is fine by itself

They won't work together
When they want such different things
And my heart agrees with both these
Because its fine alone but secretly wants to be loved

So here I stand
By myself as all these couples around me walk
Hand in hand
And I can't help but feel so alone

And with Valentine's Day looming
I am becoming quite gloomy
And hope that if someone asks me
I won't jump on the bandwagon without thinking about it first

i don't see this being resolved anytime soon.

Inordinately Ruined

2009-01-18T23:02:00.005-07:00

I am ready to step away from the ordinary
To leave the old unneeded things behind
Because they will drag me down
And leave me in London's mud

I will defy gravity
And find myself in the comfort of your wings
I am ready to look straight into the sun
And burn in its atmosphere

I have never felt more ready then tonight
And I will sing it loud & clear
Use me as you will, as you can
Because you saved me from six feet under where I am now

I am ready to be ruined to the ordinary

New Year New Beginnings

2009-01-04T19:41:00.002-07:00

"The hardest part about growing up
is letting go of what you're used to
& moving on with something you're not"
You use to tell me

I never knew how easy it was to say that
But so hard it would be
When the time came
To actually do that

But I think I understand it now
And maybe I should have heard it
And understood it long ago
Because it would have made things a lot easier

I'll start today or tomorrow if I have to

Old Makes Way for New

2008-12-31T23:59:00.001-07:00

Time to Let Go of the Old
Accept the Inevitable
And Embrace the New
This Coming Year

¡Happy New Year 2009!

5¢ Lemonade

2008-12-26T23:09:00.005-07:00

There are times I remember
When we'd be sitting on my porch
I'd be playing on my guitar and you-
You'd be singing out your heart
The sun still rises like it did all these years ago

And I wish I could be with you again
Let's go back to when we were young
Selling 5¢ lemonade and going to the fair
To buy purple balloons
When the only thing that mattered was me and you
And our dreams

Now I see a loss of innocence is evident
As you wrap the scarf around your neck
Why did you change?
I can't get over how my friend is nothing more then a stranger

And I wish I could be with you again
Let's go back to when we were young
Selling 5¢ lemonade and going to the fair
To buy purple balloons
When the only thing that mattered was me and you
And our dreams

See the sun coming over the top?
It still rises like it did years ago

ⓒ me

Carpe Diem

2008-12-12T12:55:00.003-07:00

Three and a half months left
And I'm still too freaked out.
But my stubbornness might come in handy
Because it's starting to push the scared part aside

Three Years and a half left
And I'm still too scared to know what to do
I want to go out there and live my life so strong
And maybe when it all clicks I'll climb out that window to find the open door

The rest of my life left
And I know I want to make a difference
I never want to have any regrets and I can't help but wonder
If these two things could possibly be the biggest one's if I don't seize them

Because I want to know you and myself better

Travel the Lesser Road

2008-11-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I try to imagine
What its like for you to live there
With me here
So far from you

And then I realize
I know so much less about you
Then I thought that I ever did
And I knew more then most

So now you left me asking questions
Wanting answers
Dying to know what happened
What this means

But I'll leave it to you
To figure it out first
And then maybe once you're ready
You can let me know

And Fly Back to me to Pour Out your Heart's Cries

Obviously,

2008-11-21T10:41:00.001-07:00

I knew that already

One Two Three

2008-11-07T09:55:00.003-07:00

http://ttamie.deviantart.com/

It all comes down to this:
cowardliness
or
i suck it up, take a deep breath, and go

Step off the edge with eyes wide open
See what I'm free falling into
Because in the end I know
Everything will be okay

There are of course a few possible outcomes
Rejection, Acquaintances, Friendship,
Possibly, dare I utter, love?
If I do remain true and open my mouth

And if I do not? Nothing.
None of those would happen
And both of us would remain a friend short
This is all what my gut tells me

I'm scared
Because I am not bold
But then who says I need to be bold
When I can act confident?

Find the common denominator.
Find the courage.
Find the ability to move against the flow
I've made for myself all these years

on the count of three let go. one, two...

Death over Life

2008-10-31T08:46:00.004-06:00

http://siona.deviantart.com/

Is it wrong to not cry
When I don't fear death
But everyone else around me
Is making rivers?

First Moment

2008-10-22T21:50:00.002-06:00

I think we all need to take
A few more chances
Even if it means
Getting hurt in the end

Here, Now

2008-10-18T22:05:00.002-06:00

I always imagined
That I'd look like this
Someday
Maybe

Or if not
Then I look this good
Already
Kinda

But really I don't care
What you or your people think of me
Because I'm fine with who I am
Except deep down I'm not sure
That I really am fine

Unknown

2008-09-27T20:20:00.001-06:00

Going the wrong way on a one way street
Looking around won't someone stop to help me
Turn around, turn me around
to the place I should be going

I have no regrets
Up to this point in my life
But I'm wondering if that's true
Anymore

make a place for myself

Decisions, decisions

2008-09-22T10:14:00.000-06:00

I think I need
To throw it all away
And just step off the end
And be free to find me

Cuz lately I've been confused
Where should I be going with my life
And I'm not sure what I'm doing now
Is the road I want to be following

Really I think I am
Caught between a rock and a hard place
Which makes me sad
Because everyone else seems so focused

I guess I just need to decide

From the Inside Out

2008-09-06T20:33:00.002-06:00

God,
work through me
even when i don't want to
(but you would anyway)

1000 Words

2008-08-29T09:19:00.003-06:00

The truth.
How would you like it
If all the photographs documenting your life
Suddenly didn't exist?

A photograph is worth a thousand words
Or so they say
So it's either take a picture
Or write a thousand word essay describing that point in life.

Maybe the simplest picture is really worth the most.

Watch Out

2008-08-18T00:13:00.003-06:00

I think
What I mostly want to do
Is go out there
And make a name for myself

Not into the world though
Not yet
What I really mean
Is into university

I want them to like me
But I think for the wrong reasons
But since coming to that conclusion
I can change that

I know I can

So I'll be myself
But if I could still change one thing
I think I'd try to be
more outgoing and less shy

Giving it up

Two Months

2008-08-12T23:25:00.002-06:00

As perfect as we try to make
Summer out to be
It just doesn't cut the real stuff
That the rest of the year, to us, makes us free

Inside Outside

2008-07-31T17:06:00.001-06:00

my head my head
empty, hurting, aching, spinning
filled with only the essentials
but i can see to the outside still

Start Anew

2008-07-26T23:32:00.006-06:00

In the last three months
of working where I do
some of my peers from elementary school
have come in

They all looked relatively the same
But they all looked different too
Like some sort of magic
Just took them over and changed them slightly

The guys were taller of course
one guy no longer lisped
(because he obviously had braces as i did
to get rid of the horrendous antic)

They all had a definite style to them
Whether it was one the preppy side or
a bit more casual or even
gangster-prep-casual

but i guess i came to realize something
after they came in
something about myself
that i didn't quite want to give up

( i realized this even more so after one of my
closest friend's who is going to school with me next year
acts less grown up then me yet dresses not so much like that
and has a more elegant job )

i'm tired of being afraid to do things
and not having my own opinion about things
and needing the approval of my parents
and not living my own life

i think it was the hairstyle changes
that my old friend's came in with
because they all loved lovely
except for the one boy who loved peeved (his hair was unchanged)

and i would love some elegant hairstyle
instead of the hairstyle i have now
because it hasn't changed
in my entire life.

i'm hoping that university changes me.

Exasperate

2008-07-09T22:48:00.001-06:00

Sorry,
I'm exhausted.
Maybe I'll get through this...
One day.

My Only Sunshine

2008-06-25T23:27:00.003-06:00

I watch the weather
Every night
To see what tomorrow is going to be like
Were you are

Miss Think and Mr. Know

2008-06-18T17:07:00.004-06:00

The other day
I let go of all the thoughts
Of seeing him ever again
Because seeing you again would be too soon

And I let go
Of the truth
And the lies that she feed me
These last four years

But then I saw him this weekend
And I wondered as he looked over at me
If he ever did have such emotions
And if I still did for him

And maybe letting go
Was good enough for a while
But now I need to clean up the rest
Of the mess that surrounds it

And then maybe what I let go of
Those thoughts
Will come back just to prove me wrong
And I will be overjoyed and filled with love

And then it could prove me wrong about her too
Because I haven't completely let go
Of her at all
I never will be able too

Prove me Wrong; Comeback

Tonight

2008-06-04T18:07:00.001-06:00

I play tonight.
I hope you're sad you miss it.
I can't say the same for me.
I'll be busy playing.

Virtue

2008-05-17T17:46:00.002-06:00

This morning I got a phone call
I thought it was you
I was so excited to hear your voice
But I was disappointed when it wasn't you

And this is getting stupid
And this is getting old
Ignoring me like this
And it hurts

Break apart
Breaking apart
Breaking apart
Broken apart

So where do we go from here?
You apologize
But each time makes it harder
To forgive you

Harder
And harder
And harder
But here's the thing:

I do forgive you.

Slow Dance in the Moonlight

2008-05-08T15:27:00.003-06:00

A Dream.

Two families. Two People. Two Meets One.
The fear. The rejection? The fear.
Try to sing to make it better.
You can't. I laugh.
Hold your face with my hands.
Start to slow dance.
Music comes from our soul.
Your eyes are the ocean; your hair is so soft.
Close my eyes and rest my head against your shoulder.
Taller than me. It works.
I wish to dance the night away.
Slow dancing under the golden moonlight.
I lift my head. You haven't taken your eyes off me.
How did I become so brave to be here.
We break apart. We must leave.

I meet you again.
Shorter hair. I say I like it. Makes you look more like you.
You smile. Were unsure how I would take it.
Both so unsure but willing to make this work.
The snow is warm.
Try to kiss me. I turn away.
I look at my house and feel judging eyes.
My eyes.
My promise. I cannot break it for myself.
I want to cry; I want to take it back.
You try again and I tell you no and why.
Sigh. Then I do from sadness and relief mingled.
And you pull out a box. A ring.

And I woke up.

No sense. Not Nonsense.

2008-05-05T17:52:00.004-06:00

Take it in.
Breathe it in.
Panic. Panic.
It's found you
Running, running.
Burn it up.
Smell the smoke
The flames race higher
Reach to heaven
Look up. Look up.
The smell hits your face.
The rain will wash it away.
Let the rain wash it away.
It can't forgive your sins.

Xanthous

2008-04-26T13:16:00.006-06:00

Silence.

Such an empty void
Falling
Crash over my head
Its getting to me, its getting to me
You twitch, flinch back
Take it in, take it in
No sense in wasting time on words
That are too good for your itching ears
Fall Back! Fall back.
Step back into your ranks
The war is starting and you've already lost
Keep yourself to yourself
I want none of you
So get lost.
I'll leave too.

Visual Impressions

2008-04-15T16:59:00.004-06:00

Sorry, but I just fell in love
With your eyes again
Because they make me feel
Human

And could you maybe shut them
For just a moment
While I find my thoughts
And my words

Why must they stare
And make contact with mine
And imply things
That should be spoken

They search
I am being examined
My hair, my clothes, how I carry myself, my brand of shoe
Until my eyes make you turn

But I don't think
I can make eye contact much longer
Without a word uttered
To give me any idea

Could you use your mouth and not your eyes for once?

The Beat of a Wing

2008-04-04T09:51:00.005-06:00

Everyone has those thoughts
Those ugly thoughts
That, when they transform into something more
They take wing and fly away bumping into everything like a moth

And everyone has those moments
Those moments where you can't control the situation
And when you think its okay to fly away
You fall like a baby bird out of the nest

Some have those times
Those times you can't make it by yourself
Because it's so painful
And feel like a water drenched bug who can't fly

But somehow what if we made something of it
What if we spoke, and meant, nice things when we didn't want to
Or be a comfort to someone who is going through a hard time
Or give up complete control

Maybe we could finally be graceful butterflies

Pictures on the Whitewashed Walls

2008-03-24T13:08:00.006-06:00

As a child I wished to draw on walls
Even if it came out in scribbles
To me it would appear to be a whole other world
An escape

As a young teen I read a book
That a girl had painted her room
And stretched across the wall and ceiling
Was a magnificent tree

It was not that it would be nice to look at
Because it would
But even more then that
If I painted one, it would show that I was more than that

Because while I might be cute
I want to show I can accomplish something
And show others that beauty
Is something more then from the outside

Because while I imagined that tree
Or even nightfall on a cityscape
I want to fall back into the beauty that it brings
While it lets my soul sing

When I Settle Down I'm Painting on my Walls

Baby, It's the Atmosphere

2008-03-12T18:17:00.000-06:00

I hear you calling me back
Your voice calling through the trees
I'm not far away yet
But this cold is starting to get to me

Baby come in, cuz its cold outside
you're leaving with your life and you're taking mine
Baby come back cuz I'm dying inside
I don't know how long I can make it on my...

My every breath is hanging in the air
Every word I utter stays frozen in this atmosphere
But my lungs freeze over from my coldness
And not the ideas that look like cigarette smoke

And I'm thinking this is the lamest joke
Hanging suspended like I'm leaving you
And my insides tear at every step
Until I run back to you

Baby come in, cuz its cold outside
you're leaving with your life and you're taking mine
Baby come back cuz I'm dying inside
I don't know how long I can make it on my own

Running Back to the Warmth I So Love

Light in the Crazy Times

2008-03-01T17:30:00.002-07:00

We'll find out how everything in the story turns out
After tomorrow
If something happens tomorrow
Or I'll be stuck as the loser

And that would suck wouldn't it?

A Tale of Two Princes

2008-02-26T16:44:00.002-07:00

I think it bugs me how much
I'm starting to feel like I should know you
And be known by you
And am liking you

I don't think this is healthy
Dwelling on this
When nothing more than a glance
Goes between us

When it shouldn't be me and you
But rather me and him
And why did you have to come into the picture
At all when I was already so content?

This confusion needs to come to light soon
Before I tear myself in two
Because fairy tale's never are like this
And I'd rather not like to be in a twisted story

My prince needs to come rescue me

Mind Meets Heart

2008-02-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

I am so angry right now
Logic has no real place anymore
What right do you have?
Because you shouldn't make me feel like this.

Ride of the Century

2008-02-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder
Are the slower things in life
Sometimes the most enjoyable and fun
Especially with friends?

I thought about it last night when I rode the carousel with all of you

Reaching the Clouds

2008-01-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny
How we push away things
That bug us or annoy us,
that we can't be bothered with

Its like we want to be free
Living in the fast lane
Swinging with no attachments
Swinging life away

But that is impossible
Unless your mind happens
to live on a tropic island
and you rock back and forth in a corner
muttering to yourself

No complications
No hardships
No rude awakenings
No rules

Well thanks for the notion
That we could get by like that
But I doubt that we'd survive long
And I think I'll wait until heaven for that

Because without all of that
I'd be a wimpy person
With the mind of a four year old
Who doesn't want to learn, who wants never to grow up

But then how could we find things?
Friends would be disposable, not close like brothers
Everything would be a play thing that wouldn't matter if its broken
And then, what is love?

So I'll keep the chains on my swing, thanks all the same.

The Aid in Afraid

2008-01-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Patricia has inspired me

I am afraid.

I am afraid of failing, either myself or others or God because it will show I am weak
I am afraid of not learning because I am afraid to fail
I am slowly learning how to fail and learn from it
I am afraid that my trying my hardest won't be my best
I am afraid that that I know what I should do but won't because of others

I am afraid of love.
I am afraid of not being loved
I am afraid that I will fall in love with the wrong person and realize it too late
I am afraid that my passion will die or grow cold
I am afraid of commitment in love

I am afraid that I will love someone passionately but that I won't be good enough for them

I am afraid of no one listening
I am afraid of my arm/hand/fingers being injured so that I can longer longer play the guitar
I am afraid of the music dying
I am afraid that my parents don't want me to do what I've been called to
I am afraid of letting my friends down too often that they won't care anymore
I am afraid of people using me to get what they want and leaving me in the dumpster when they are done.
I am afraid that I don't try hard enough for God
I am afraid that people will think I'm rude for not speaking to them when I'm only shy and enjoy silence more.
I am afraid that I will not have the right words to say when I need them.
I am afraid of my friends going to hell if I shared the Gospel to them
I am afraid that I have not shared the Gospel enough to them

I am afraid of becoming too cocky when I drive and then killing someone
I am afraid of awkwardness
I am afraid of not being myself
I am afraid that my dreams are untrue and the wrong thing for my life
I am afraid I am 'all talk and no walk'
I am afraid I don’t pray enough
I am afraid that my pride will be my downfall
But I am learning
I am afraid of leaning on others
I am afraid that I will not be able to laugh at myself
I am afraid that I will always be just one of the guys
Though I like to be sometimes
I am afraid that I may crack one day
I am afraid for my sisters
I am afraid for my parents because of my sisters
I am afraid for my friends
I am afraid for myself

When I get really afraid
I come to you in trust.
I'm proud to praise God;
fearless now, I trust in God.
What can flesh do to me?
Psalm 56: 3-4
The Message & KJV

Smash Your Problems into Fragments

2008-01-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when everything around me breaks
I just want to stand still
And let all the tiny pieces
Fly past me

And even if I'm not untouchable
And one hits me
Even in the eye
I'd be okay with that

Because I'd be part of something

Christmas Time is Here

2007-12-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hope your Holidays
Are Merry and Fun
And that if you have time off
You enjoy yourself

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!

Para su Amor

2007-12-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

I don't even know what it is anymore
Is it an obsession
A lust, a want,
True Love?

I don't even know anymore
I know there are people in the world I love
My family
My friends

There are different types of love
Family love
True Blue Friendship
Love for a man that you never knew you could

I know I love all my family
I love Sarah and Kristina and Emma
I love people who are closer to me then my own family
In times of darkness

But I don't know if I've ever loved a man
So much as I loved that boy
But was it all fake
A desire that was crushed so easily?

Am I in love?
Or am I in love with the wrong man?
I hope I'm not so desperate to go with another
When I've waited so long

Just to hear you say those eight letters in my ear

Moment of Perfect Clarity

2007-12-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a moment
That one perfect moment
where it was suddenly so clear
What you were meant to do with your life?

But then as you thought about it
You grew weary
Or afraid
Or unsure of it was really the right thing

How many people would you disappoint if you did it
How many would you hurt
How many would wish you went to college before that
How many could be saved if you did though?

So many times
Running through this situation in my minds eye
Someday is sometimes not as good as now
Now I'm asking if you know what to do

Maybe you need to write a book, or direct a movie,
Or talk to someone who you've never met
Or write a song.
Maybe it will change, influence someone's life.

But maybe 'now' means when the circumstances fall in place
Miraculously like falling from heaven itself
And that really means now
So its actually in the perfect time

So someday I may be a 'rock star'

Memories of Yesteryear

2007-12-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that one moment
That perfect moment
That you could never describe
Never redo again?

That moment while seemingly lost
Is stuck forever in your mind
Playing over and over
Like a broken record

And the details start to get less clear
But the over all message is still there
And it seems like a distant thought
An old dream

Maybe you don't even remember it for a few days
Or weeks
Or months
Or years even

But Its Still There, Waiting to Be Remembered

Here, There, and Everywhere

2007-11-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what I'm looking for
So deep down
So far away
Just not there

I wonder what the purpose is
There's no point
Give up
Give up

But looking harder
Deeper
Farther
Brought me some of the best things in my life

Types of love that I never knew were there
Coexistence with those I'd never known
The realization of who's not your friend
And who's your best.

Looking Around Gets You Nowhere